Wes Roberts Blog

My Romans 5:3-5

2010-03-08T09:08:00.004-05:00

I have had an interesting couple weeks. Two weeks ago I was told I needed brain surgery... the doctor said it was safe, but it's still drilling into my skull. Then, mysteriously (or miraculously) a week ago I realized the pain in my face wasn't there. It was strange, so I started to wean myself off of my pain killers. Each day that passed I kept thinking the pain would return, but it's been 8 days and it's completely gone. I haven't even had a flicker of the electric shock I used to feel. It's as if my body reset to the way it used to be. It's also weird because the drugs I was on are sometimes used for depression, so I've had some strange side effects from going off of them.

Now I believe God is capable of anything and everything. I believe He can heal, and I believe He can let us endure suffering to stretch our faith. Most importantly, I trust Him... and for some reason I can't explain in words, I believe God allowed me for the last year and a half to endure a form of suffering few can relate to. It wasn't something people could see, and it wasn't something anyone could understand. In fact, I can easily get frustrated that people don't understand the magnitude of what it means that I no longer have that pain. The human part of me wants to them to feel the pain for a few seconds, just so they can grasp just what it means to no longer have it. Yeah, I'm messed up that the sinful part of me thinks that sometimes! And I think I feel that way because none of us want to go through suffering or healing alone. Yet if there's one thing I've learned, no matter how much empathy people try to show (or don't show), you will feel isolated in suffering.

But that's part of what God's been teaching me. There are pieces of our faith that we can't explain to others. Parts of it can be isolated, and there are aspects of our growth that only we will understand. Where it all comes together is how it refines our character. This is where Romans 5:3-5 comes into play (ironically, the second verse I ever memorized as a kid): "Suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

What matters is not the suffering or the healing, but how it molds our faith, making us stronger men and women of God, relying on His power to work through us. I'm so quick to try to use my own strength and my own talents to operate my life, instead of allowing His power to work through me first, guiding those gifts/talents to the betterment of His Kingdom (not my own).

In the end I could end up with the pain in my face tomorrow... or something worse could happen. It doesn't really matter. God will do what He wants to do, and I'm okay with that. I trust Him. I believe He does what he wants to do, and I'm perfectly okay with letting Him make those decisions.

Drilling into my head...

2010-02-24T09:20:00.003-05:00

So a year and a half ago I woke up with a toothache. The pain progressed over the course of a week until I felt like I had electric shocks on the right side of my face. It happened anywhere from 10-50 plus times a day, for 1-15 seconds each time. It took me a month or two to get the right diagnosis, but it is called TRIGEMINAL NEURALGIA. It is also called "the suicide disease" for the pain and frustration it causes in people, making them want to kill themselves. Not fun!

Trigeminal Neuralgia has a number of causes, and it is found mostly in older woman or as an early sign of MS. What happens is the nerve from our face has three branches (hence the "tri"), one of which is rubbing against a blood vessel on the stem of my brain. There are only a few doctors in the country that can accurately detect this and operate on it. My first MRI, with a local Neuralogist, did not show any signs of rubbing against the nerve. I flew to New York to a leading expert and he immediately detected the problem.

What hasn't it seemed to bother me lately?
For the last year or so I have found different medications (anti-convulsants) to help the minimize the pain, so that most of the time I forget it's there. However, each medicine eventually runs its course and the pain returns. While my current medication works, it is only a matter of months before it wears off.

Brain Surgery?
Yes, I will need to have surgery on the stem of my brain. They will knock me out, drill a quarter size whole behind my right ear, and go in to separate the blood vessel from the nerve. It takes a couple hours, gives me an awful headache, but then I should be fine. It has over a 95% success rate, and there are very few complications.

When?
Sometime in the next 2-3 months.

Fun Stuff!!!!!

Avatar and Freedom

2010-02-06T07:32:00.003-05:00

I went and saw Avatar for the second time yesterday... This time at the IMAX. There's a huge difference watching movies on a screen that big. It truly makes you feel like you're there. And I think making you feel like you're there is part of the trick with Avatar. The special effects bring a world to life that draws us in and makes us dream about a far away place that anything is possible.

Fantasy books and movies have always found a way to capture the imagination, allowing us to forget the world we live in and move to a place that has no record of our life on earth. There's a sense of freedom in imagination. However, just like Jake from the movie, eventually reality kicks back in and you remember who you are.

I could go on about how our relationship with God gives us freedom, which is does, but I believe our freedom in Jesus Christ comes when we face our life here on earth with responsibility, accountability, and realistic expectations for who God has made us. The responsibility piece is huge for me, because I feel like so many people are trapped because they can't take responsibility for their life, whether past or present. It's hard to be set free with bitterness and blame.

We all want freedom. We want to forget our past mistakes. We desperately want that feeling that anything is possible for our lives. It is only through courageously facing our past and taking responsibility for the life we are living that freedom will begin to penetrate into our heart. It can take time for many, and it can happen quickly for others. But it only happens when we own up to who we are.

Living like Nehemiah

2010-01-23T20:30:00.003-05:00

As I have been preparing for a Life Group for some young adult guys, I've been looking at different men throughout the Bible. Most people who know the Bible look at Jesus, Moses, David, Paul, Daniel, Jonah, and other well known men. After all, if you grew up in children's church, you know their stories. I still think of the Hannah Barbara cartoon of "Daniel and the Lions Den" every time I read through that book. But Nehemiah? Too often he's overlooked.

Nehemiah's desire to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem is the kind of faith I can relate to. It makes sense to me, because sometimes you hear God telling you to do something with your life, and while others might not see the significance, you know it is part of a greater plan for what God is doing with you.

I honestly believe people wake up some days and know something is off. They can't put their finger on it, but there is something they are supposed to be doing or supposed to be working for. I also believe God reveals to us only what we need to see or hear, and not necessarily details to what he wants us to do. This isn't based on anything Biblical I've read (accept maybe with Jacob in Genesis), but rather personal experience. There's obviously choice involved, but when God puts something on your heart and you accept it, the choice presents itself with clarity.

Nehemiah wanted to rebuild a wall, and ultimately, a nation.... but it started with the wall. His passion is what brought people into his circle of influence, because his faith was enough to make them believe it could be done.

I could go on and on and on, but I'll leave it at this: God gives us the desires of our hearts, and if we follow his ways, he will let those desires burn so hot that we can't do anything else in life but go after them.

Dominos

2010-01-19T07:28:00.002-05:00

The last season of our church has kept me abnormally busy. There are times in ministry where this happens, and while it can be tiring and push your limits, you have to keep a healthy balance in your life to survive it. I feel like I've done that for the most part, but I've put a couple things on hold that are really starting to catch up to me. You'll notice that none of these things are as important as say family or my walk with God, because I would rather deal with this stuff than hurt relationships. If it means cleaning my car out or taking my daughter to the park, my daughter will win every single time. However, here is the list of things I need to do!!!

1. Cleaning out my cars - Isn't it amazing how a clean car can make you feel better about how things are going in your life? It's funny, but so true for me! This is one of the top things on my list of things I need to find time for!

2. Cleaning out my garage - It is not as important as the cars, but it would be nice to take my trash out without tripping over things in the dark.

3. Bills, bills, bills - I pay them, but I need to organize everything and do a better job tracking where our money goes. I also have yet to transfer over our old Connecticut checking account. It's been a year and a half and I haven't done it, because it means changing a whole lot of billing information. The sad things is bills, numbers, and budgets come remarkably easy to me... I just haven't made time to tackle it all.

4. Car registration, blinker, etc. - My cars are just a disaster! I have had a blinker out on one for like 2 months. That can't be safe (or legal). Somehow we didn't pay out $60 car tax. I don't even remember receiving it, but how would I know when all my bills are in a giant pile!

5. Doctor visits - While a smaller priority, I need to go to the dentist and doctor!

6. Painting out house - We've been here for the better part of a year and I haven't even begun to paint most of the house. It's sad, because I have everything I need... it's just one of those things that gets pushed aside.

7. Finishing my wife's blog and website

So those are my needs... my wants? Totally different, and none of them a priority.

1. Finish the fire pit area
2. Keep writing my book - I really could finish if I had enough time
3. Finish the accounting book I'm reading and studying, so I can start to learn more about small business accounting.
4. Play some golf!

Life is funny, because you can never do everything, and things are rarely finished! That's the way it goes I guess!

merging my blogs

2010-01-14T20:20:00.002-05:00

I finally merged another blog I was working on with this one. It is just another way to archive my writing. I enjoy writing.

Healthy Distractions

2010-01-09T21:10:00.006-05:00

It's been a long time since I've written on this blog... I'm going to start up again, if for no other reason than I enjoy writing.

I don't write as much as I used to when I was younger and had more free time, but as with everything else in life, I believe if we want to do something bad enough, we will make the time. It is amazing how we always find time for things that matter to us the most.

I feel like it's only in writing that my real thoughts are able to be extracted without my mouth somehow fumbling them into being misunderstood. I mean that with all sincerity. I have a difficult time ever communicating how I really feel or what I am really thinking. Writing slows me down, and gives me freedom I don't carry in everyday conversation.

...

While watching LOST the other night, I found myself interested in a scene where two of the main characters were discussing what to do about a problem. Jack (the doctor) walked into the house of Sawyer (the con-artist) demanding he stop reading his book and help fix the problem. Sawyer goes on to tell him that reading a book helps him think...

Sometimes the best thing we can do in life is completely step away from a problem or situation that has consumed us. It is that feeling I get playing music, a round of golf, or sitting around a fire with friends. Enjoying simple pleasures, all given to us by God, can set us free from the bondage we feel from a project or problem.

Sometimes taking a break, stopping, and stepping away can be the best use of our time.

2009-08-15T22:23:00.000-04:00

1 John 1:8-10

"If we claim that we’re free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves. A claim like that is errant nonsense. On the other hand, if we admit our sins—make a clean breast of them—he won’t let us down; he’ll be true to himself. He’ll forgive our sins and purge us of all wrongdoing. If we claim that we’ve never sinned, we out-and-out contradict God—make a liar out of him. A claim like that only shows off our ignorance of God."

I'm not sure if I ever deny that I screw up... but there are times I ignore it. I somehow think if I pretend I didn't mess up then it didn't happen. I think it might keep me from feeling shame. In actuality, the shame comes from carrying around the burden of sin in my life that God purposely designed Jesus to carry on the cross. He longs to take it off me, so why should I keep pretending it's not there?

God's voice gets lost in my refusal to let go of pain and give it to Him.

On a connecting note... I can't stand when people get bored with the cross. As if saying, "Yeah, yeah, I get it... but what else is there?" Don't get me wrong, I love learning about the depths of God, but I'll never leave the feet of the cross.

Old Pictures

2009-08-08T22:58:00.000-04:00

There are subtle truths about pictures... you never look the same as you remember. Whenever I take pictures I tend to think I look weird. However, if a year or two goes by, I always look back and go, "Wow, that wasn't so bad." This is either a sign that I am getting uglier or that sometimes you need to step away from the memory to appreciate it.

So a word to the wise... Find ways to preserve memories, because they remind us of where we have been... and where we've been determines the fate of where we are headed.

Caving In

2009-08-07T07:31:00.000-04:00

I realized in my attempt to save money by not having the internet at home, I managed to ignore writing my blog. I caved in and now have internet, so my writings should be a little more consistent.

My thoughts for the day come from a quote I found in my Grandfather's old photo album:
"Handle the hardest job first each day... easy ones are pleasures."

There's something to say about the weight of the larger challenges in life. If we manage to tackle whatever dark cloud is hanging over us, everything else seems easy, and possibly enjoyable.

Projects

2009-07-11T07:48:00.000-04:00

A few months ago we bought our first home in Charleston, South Carolina. When we moved in I immediately noticed a few projects I wanted to get working on. The more projects we take on the more ideas pop inside my head. What is it about a project that can focus our mind?

I think projects get us excited because we see progress and the end result. There's a start, a finish, and a time to appreciate what we've accomplished.

What makes our walk with God so difficult is that it has all the characteristics of a real relationship. In relationships there is a start, but there never seems to be a finish. If there is a finish, it involves a breaking of that relationship. Since we never intend to break our relationship with God, we are never done.

That's a hard thought. I mean, it's nice to know God's never done with us, because He knows how much work we need. But it's hard work knowing that everyday we need to put in time with God, no matter what kind of mood we're in, so that we can keep pressing forward.

Paul talks about running a race (1 Corinthians 9). I can only imagine the finish line is when we die and are brought to heaven. I guess that makes sense, but if that's the case, this is one long marathon.

So what's my point?

My point today is simple... run the race like it's a marathon. Don't get burned out or lose hope. Too often it seems people fail to understand that in a marathon it is not the person who flies out of the gate ahead of everyone else who wins (or even finishes), but the people who know how to pace themselves. In addition, marathon runners often stick together, because everyone needs other people to help them keep their own pace.

We aren't followers of Christ for a season, for a few years, or while our children are growing up and need "moral fiber". We follow Christ until we take our last breath, whenever that may be. Only then can we look back upon our finished work and appreciate all God has done with us.

Wes

People

2009-06-30T12:08:00.000-04:00

Sometimes people can distract us from, well, everything. Even in the "normal" rhythm of life, other people's problems can somehow infect us, no matter how strong the barrier we put up. What's even worse is when two people, having equally frustrating days, collide to create a cataclysmic social problem. Sometimes we're one of those people, sometimes we're not. Either way, humanity is so incredibly flawed and messed up, that I wonder how we function together at all. We all have egocentric, self-filling motives in this life, mixed in with a little bit of grace. Sometimes we manage to get out of the way long enough for God to work, so it is only a further testament to his compassion and mercy that he is able to use us in a world where we can't seem to stop stumbling over our own two feet.

I sound frustrated because I am frustrated. What's funny is I have no direct target, except us. Oh, I'm in the middle of that boat as well... Sometimes I feel like the captain of stupidity leading it.

How can WE get out of the way? Seriously. God wants so badly to show up in our world, to pull us out of the mess we have made, but we're too busy telling Him, "Just hold a minute," while we worry about things that don't matter.

This past 10 days or so have been a reminder of that.

Why do we do the things we do?

Why do we wake up in the morning?

What are we living for?

Rhythm

2009-05-21T18:05:00.000-04:00

Our faith is living, active, and restless. It reminds me of music... and I love music. God only knows who I would be without the feel of six strings in my hand or the release of my voice in song. But music only works when everything arrives together in unison. There has to be a constant; something that everything else looks to for rhythm. In a band, it's the drummer. In an orchestra, it's the conductor. In our faith it's the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit beats inside of us with a deep, slow, rhythm, guiding the wayward parts of our heart back in sync with the movement he longs for us to follow. When we submit our hearts to the Holy Spirit we grow in our knowledge of the power God has put inside us all to rise above the pit of despair we often believe we deserve to live in. That power, when engaged, reveals the world as God sees it, propelling us beyond the view of the world we often get trapped in.

We must intentionally recognize that the Holy Spirit is active inside of us. We must feed it with prayer, the reading of God's Word, and with spiritual disciplines that strip away everything else that hides God's voice.

Simple

2009-04-30T09:36:00.000-04:00

Technology is such a bitter-sweet thing. Without it my wife (and maybe daughter) would not be alive... so right there it has its uses. And the microwave? Enough said. Still there are moments when I am overwhelmed by it all. I'll be on my computer, watching television, music in the background, and wonder why it's hard to communicate to my wife.

Sometimes I wish it were all gone. I don't really mean it, but I do wish it were limited. When I'm forced to be without a computer and television, my appreciation for music skyrockets... and because music makes me think, my relationship with God opens up some more. My relationships with people also seem to improve.

I guess what I'm really wondering is other than the necessities (medical, military, etc.), has it improved our lives? If the measure of improvement was either happiness OR our relationship with God, then I'm willing to say... no. It hasn't improved anything. Yes, people can be reached around the world in ways we never could dream, and that is tribute to those who use technology well. Still, most of us become so congested with it, that I don't understand its value.

I encourage people I mentor to practice solitude. I encourage people to turn off their cell phones when they can, turn off their iPods, and be without it all for a time. Silence has become far too scary, our need to be in immediate connection an unnecessary addiction, and lost in it all is knowing who we are stripped down to the core.

Go live in a foreign country without those things and you will know exactly what I mean... and you'd probably thank me for it.

House

2009-04-24T22:04:00.000-04:00

There's a habit I learned awhile back. I'm not sure where I picked it up, but it involves finding truth it odd places. I also try to look beyond people's actions and ask the question, "Why?" or "What can that teach me?"

While watching the TV show "House" I stumbled upon a moment in the show that reminds me of one of life's deepest values.

Dr. House goes to the home of a doctor he desperately wants to come back to work. He doesn't think anyone else can fill the position, so he is willing to do anything to get her to come back to work. While he's talking, Dr. House's beeper goes off. When the woman asks him what it is he replies, "There's an epidemic". She tells him he should go, thinking it's crazy he hasn't left to go solve the problem. But Dr. House doesn't even flinch, saying, "This is more important."

I loved that. I mean, how often in life do we feel like there's an epidemic going on or the world will collapse if we don't take care of the problem that faces us? It happens to everyone. But how often do we recognize the big picture? How often do we stop and say, "yes, there's something or someone that needs me, but there's something else more important."

I feel like God is always waiting for us, and very rarely do we make space in our lives to meet with Him. Why? Because life always keeps us in the immediate, making us think that the problems of the day need to be solved before we can "enjoy" our time with God. But that's not how it works! We need to make space for God in the craziness, as much as it feels impossible. If in the epidemic of our life we broke our leg would we find a way to make time to go to the hospital? Of course. Yet our heart could be shattered and we keep walking around as if it's okay.

The urgent can wait. Our heart cannot.

Burning Bush

2009-04-23T16:55:00.000-04:00

Most people know the story of Moses. In fact, it's usually around Easter that we find "The Ten Commandments" on TV. I turned it on and watched it for an hour, because I found the old take on this story quite entertaining. Honestly, it's funny to watch the way they used to make movies.

I started thinking about Moses more and more, so I decided to read the story for the first time in about a year. I turned to the book of Exodus and here's what I learned:

God tells Moses to ask Pharaoh to let the Israelites worship in the desert, but Pharaoh says no. Afterwards, Pharaoh ups the workload of the people, which in turn makes all the Israelites mad at Moses. I mean, if he had simply kept his mouth shut, things would be like they always were. How would you feel if God gave you a task and in return everyone got mad at you for following it?

I've been meditating on this for about a week now. Whose voice do I listen to in my own life? Do I listen to God? Do I listen to those around me? Do I listen to those who don't understand God's plan for my life? Whose voice is in control when I make decisions?

My challenge is targeting the voices that are not God's, and intentionally shutting them up. I remind myself that my life is not intended to impress people or win them over. What's the point of having people like us if we don't even like ourselves? We've become a little backward in that thinking. So here's my order (take it or leave it):

1. God created my life, values my life enough to die for it, and knows what's best for me... so I listen to him first.
2. I know my life, where I've been, what I've done, and I need to value who I am... so I listen to myself second.
3. People close to me probably know my life, most of where I've been, a lot what I've done, and they value me... so I listen to them third.
4. People not close to me don't have much (if any) of a voice. They might earn one someday, but not today.

I actually work back from 4, trying to push each of the voices away until I hear only God's. Why? Because everything else falls from there. Know the voice of God and you will know the only voice that really matters. We just like to filter it through all the other voices.

Again with those filters. Find them, rid yourself of them, and you might be surprised at what you hear.

Woods

2009-04-22T13:59:00.000-04:00

Around lunchtime today I went behind my house and explored the woods. I'm not a huge outdoor person, but I have an appreciation for nature. I find God there every time.

There's something to be said about physically walking away from the world we know into a world that knows nothing about what clouds our thinking. Slowly I found myself breathing in the air of solitude and breathing out the weight of concern I carry about the daily operations of life. After walking about a quarter of a mile down an unknown path, I stopped and spoke to God. I confessed my weaknesses, my failures, and my obsessive need to control everything. I surrendered my inability to do anything well on my own and asked him to speak to me.

As I closed my eyes I must admit I did not hear much, but what I did hear was clear. "Look at your hands," He said to me. I followed those words and looked at my hands, calloused and rough from life. I held my hands there and said, "What would you have me do with them?" I found out quickly that was the wrong question. I have a tendency to ask the wrong questions. Instead, I stopped talking and thought about my hands.

I use my hands to open doors, play music, touch my wife, hold my daughter, cook dinner, fix things, write on a computer, and express much of how I am feeling. I also remembered something someone once told me when I was younger in ministry. They told me it would be through my hands that God would use me. Do I know how? Maybe partially at best. But even that would be a guess.

What was essential to my time with God was I felt close to God. I felt him smile down on me. I felt his embrace. Not completely, but enough to give me strength.

My conclusion? There is power within us, residing in the Holy Spirit. It can be dormant or it can be active. The closer we walk to God, the more we remove our filters, the more the Holy Spirit begins to stir. As it stirs it guides us with wisdom, provides us with strength, and fills us with joy.

Galatians 5:22-23
"But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!"

Noise

2009-04-21T01:13:00.000-04:00

I believe God wants to bless us. Not some of us. All of us. So why does He seem so far away?

The answer, I believe, is we filter God's voice through the noises of our surrounding world.

If we're honest, we never have enough time to do what needs to be done in a given day, so we feel completely overwhelmed. We have become obsessed with the urgent, instead of focusing on what we truly value. This leaves us tired. But instead of turning off the craziness, we add to it. Television, iPods, movies, social hours, etc. It begins to feel like hundreds of voices in or head at all times.

Filters. Filters. Filters. There are layers of filters breaking up the voice of God from carrying into or heart.

That is is why I am writing this, because I believe there are ways to strip away the layers of noise that hide the voice of God.

He is always speaking... we just don't know how to hear Him.

New Youth Room

2009-04-05T15:39:00.000-04:00

Finally... and I mean FINALLY we finished the floor of the youth room. It looks awesome!

We have a few more things to do, but I feel blessed that we have the resources to create a great environment for students.

How It Came Together...

2009-03-23T07:55:00.002-04:00

About 20 minutes before yesterday's morning service I was panicking. I'll be honest, a series of events made it so our worship band was just not ready. We started late (for a good reason), Daniel broke a string, and we were already playing catch-up with our drummer, Jim, who could not practice the night before. The great thing about the band is they have enjoyed making better and better music... however it's up to me to say, "Guys, people are starting to show up... we're done."

After we finished, I went into my office to get away from everyone. I knew we had about 10 minutes before the service started, but I didn't care. I closed the door, got on my knees, and simply said, "God, there is no way this service will run smooth without you taking control... so please do something great." Now I pray before practice, after practice, and throughout the week about our worship music, but this felt different. It was more a prayer of surrender.

To make a long story short, I was pleasantly surprised at every point of the service yesterday how God pieced things together. Then I noticed how many people were there. I knew it was a lot, but I didn't realize it was the most people we've ever had on a non-special event day (Easter, VBS Sunday, etc.). Funny how things come together when God wants them to.

We are moving forward at a rapid pace at our church, and it's awesome.

Sweet Summer Memory

2009-03-20T07:50:00.002-04:00

I awoke this morning to hitting the snooze bar twice... After the second time I started thinking about how I spent my summers in college. Honestly, my heart warmed when I thought about the routine I had and I couldn't help but get out of bed. When I turned on the TV to "Sunrise Earth", which I do most mornings, it showed summers in New England on the water. Talk about Irony.

For all I complain about the cold of Connecticut and New England, the months of June/July/August are simply the most beautiful anywhere. It takes awhile to get permanently warm, but when it is, it is amazing for like 10-12 weeks.

Most of my summers I taught tennis at a local country club. I loved working with the kids, and the staff made me laugh. I would start at 8am and I would end around 4pm. The whole day smelled of salt in the air, because the country club was on the water.

It was after work I would enjoy spending time with some friends. Those friends varied over the years, but in my final two years in college my friend Chris, who had become a Pastor, started a young adult / college group. It started with about 15 of us meeting at his house, grilling food on a Wednesday night, and worshiping/praying while we talked about relevant topics in our walk with Christ. My sister was a part of this group as well, which made it more fun, because it was around that time we became close.

And this is what I was thinking about this morning. I remember what it was like to be at a point in life where the possibilities were endless. The road was wide open to decide what each of us wanted to do or where we could go. In that group we have people who are now all over the country (California, Florida, Georgia, New York, more New York, Mexico, Arizona, and of course South Carolina). What I love most is that almost all of us ended up serving in ministry in one way or another, which was a sign for the quality of what we were a part of.

I look at that and want to create that culture at our church. I think about kids who are already in college and my youth who will one day enter college, and I want them to have a community that challenges them and allows them to grow in the midst of what is often the deepest time of searching in ones life. After all, what's the point of doing youth ministry? If it's to establish a real adult relationship with Jesus Christ, then when my youth are adults, they need a culture to enter that challenges them like they are adult followers of Christ.

My wife and I are buying a home next month, and some people may not believe me when I say this, but we're not getting it for us. Not really... We're getting it for our kids (one we have and for the one that we hope one day is to come). We're also getting it so we have a place to create further community with people. This is like our biggest dream. If it was just the two of us, and we didn't enjoy the joy of being in ministry, we'd live in a little two-room bungalow on the water. Well, that's what I'd do at least.

Stalling...

2009-03-19T11:15:00.003-04:00

I remember the first time I stalled a car at a light. People behind me honked at me (that's what rude people up north do) while I turned the car back on and used the old "emergency brake" trick to keep from rolling backwards.

Some weeks feel like that and this is one of those weeks. It's as if every time I have the energy to work hard on a new idea something out of my control happens to keep me from moving forward. Every other week things will be fine. This week it was my daughter, Charlotte, getting sick. God knows I love her, but if I don't think I've eaten much food this week due to the constant smell of diarrhea diapers being changed throughout the day (and night). She's feeling better today, but it's Thursday... THURSDAY!!!

Life has a funny way of testing patience.

The difficulty always remains keeping the energy for what I'm trying to due, even when life stalls. It's hard, no doubt, but my constant prayer to God is to keep me moving forward all the time.

Worship Music

2009-03-14T08:04:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure when it happened, but I know it was after I graduated college...

Worship music has shifted and changed. I remember the Passion movement back in the mid 90's, which carried for over 10 years. Artists like Charlie Hall, David Crowder, and Chris Tomlin began making hit worship song after hit worship song. The style of the music these worship artists put out was acoustic driven, somewhat singer/song-writer music influenced by the new alternative rock movement of the early 90's. Other worship artists followed their lead. At the same time, there were small factions of worship music out there that attempted to be bluesy or "rock an' roll". They didn't get very far, but there were a few artists.

As worship music has progressed I've noticed an undeniable shift in where the center of worship is now located. It used to be the California (the home of the Passion movement). Now, it's in Australia. Who would have predicted that 10 years ago?

I remember the first time I saw a Hillsong video. I was honestly confused. I didn't understand how there were so many young, normal-looking people at a worship service (not that anyone is normal, but you catch my drift). I was even more confused when I didn't know any of the music. That was probably 2004.

When I took a job in Connecticut (a place void of all new worship music), I missed being on the front of the change that took place from probably 2004-Today. Hillsong and Hillsong United quickly became the center of Worship Music in the world. In other words, I believe if there was a giant worship service for all the Christians in the world, they would be the ones leading music. Now, I still believe Chris Tomlin is a close second, but after attending conferences and churches that are leading a next-generation movement, it is clear that the common worship language is being scripted by this Australian "Worship School".

This forces me to ask the question... what's next? Yes, I love this movement... but it will end eventually. So... what's next?

Whatever it is, older people won't like it. They never do. I pray I'm not one of those "older people" when it happens.

Overload...

2009-03-05T20:22:00.002-05:00

I realized I haven't blogged lately because there is so much going on.

For one, I hit a 45 on 9 holes today. More important, I didn't lose my ball. This is a giant accomplishment for me.

Golf has become a regular part of my Thursday routine. I am often reluctant to enjoy something in life that brings such an enormous amount of pleasure, but it honestly sets the tone for the next three days (my biggest work days). I feel even better about playing golf after a speaker at the conference I went to last week commanded (yes, commanded) pastors to have more open time with their week. He uses golf to relax each week, so I think I'll continue with my routine. Besides, it's a great time for me to spend time with a couple of the young adult guys from the church.

Speaking of the conference, I attended Catalyst at North Point in Atlanta. There's waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much stuff to put in this blog about what I experienced, but in a single word... AWESOME.

Now... Back to American Idol. Sad, but I'm addicted. Every year this happens.

I need some warmth...

2009-02-21T16:05:00.003-05:00

I'm ready for spring/summer... Enough of the 40's, 50's, even 60's... bring on the warm weather. That's all I have to say.

American Idol ramblings...

2009-02-18T14:51:00.004-05:00

Okay, so it's too early for me to project a winner, but there are a few things I'd like to point out from what I saw last night.

For one, people don't seem to understand how the music business works. It's not all about talent... in fact, most of the time it has only a small part to do with talent (just look at Miley Sirus singing with Taylor Swift during the Grammys). It's about the "package".

Last night the girl I picked from the start to win did fairly well. Her name is Alexis Grace. She got Simon's nod as the best of the night. Why? Because she has the package... looks, voice, like-ability, passion, and soul. She has just enough sex appeal to make girls want to be like her, but not enough to annoy them. This is all very important to having a winner. Last year's early front-runner, David Archuleta, was about 2-3 years too young to take it. He was "cute", but that doesn't usually work for the guys. It wasn't that surprising when he lost.

This brings me to my next point... Simon is always right. Always. If you disagree with him, you are biased towards the person singing or ignorant to what really matters in the music business. Honestly. There is a reason the man makes the kind of money off these artists he does. Remember what he said when Chris Daughtry got voted off? "The best person got voted out tonight..." Years later Daughtry is by far the most successful artist from that season. Who owns his music rights? You guessed it... Simon.

My problem with this season... and I'm not sure how to word this exactly... Most of the guys are very feminine. I mean, even the guys from the boyband era never were as unmanly as these guys. The ones that are supposed to be "tough" look fake, and the ones with the smooth voices look like they've never dated a girl before, should be on broadway, or should be doing my science project. I know this is harsh, but it's frustrating!

Look, I know I can't sing like these people, but are you really going to tell me these are the best guy music artists they can find? Please...

Give me help or give me stress

2009-02-13T12:41:00.002-05:00

Do you remember the commercial where the person is talking and next to them were mini-clones of themselves doing all the work? I can't remember what the product was (Blackberry maybe?), but who wouldn't multiply themselves to help get all the things done in the day they can't accomplish on their own... With that said...

One thing I've learned lately is that I can't do everything on my own. I know, what a shock. Seriously though, I've genuinely enjoyed giving up the control and designating responsibility, because it's given me a sense of freedom. Between the media team on Sunday mornings, the Worship team, and of course the Youth Ministry here are church, I have a huge network of volunteers and leaders who set me free to enjoy my job and my life more than would ever happen without their help.

A couple examples...

Melanie is my idea bouncer for the Youth Ministry. Whether it's events, youth group. camp, etc., I feel like I get more accomplished in an hour meeting with her than if I sat around and brain-stormed ideas by myself for a week. Additionally, she takes on little projects that free me up to do the things that I'm much better at. When you have help like that it's more than simply multiplying yourself, it feels like you're increasing your productivity exponentially.

Another example is my friend, Lewis. Between helping improve our Worship sound and introducing me to musicians, I feel that he's doing projects on the side that allow me to again, do the things I'm good at.

I could go on, but you get the idea.... When we have help, it takes away the stress we don't need in our life. It stress is gone, we're able to enjoy our own gifts, passions, and dream a little bit... and I love to dream.

Reaching...

2009-02-11T21:20:00.002-05:00

It started with Charlotte reaching her hands up in the air... that was about four weeks ago. Now, my 9 month old daughter seems to learn something new every day... and she's genuinely in love with me... Seriously.

Every time she sees me, especially after I've been away all day, she flips out. She smiles, laughs, screams for me, and throws her hands up in the air for me while saying, "Dada". It is a fantastic feeling. If I deny picking her up and walk away, the look of disappointment on her face is enough to break my heart. Then the crying the follows is just unbearable.

You know what's so cool about that? No one else can get that reaction from her. Sure, she smiles at everybody... but no one can be her father, except me. That's pretty cool, right?

Here are the other things she can do now, but not one month ago:
- Crawl... and fly across the room
- Pickup her own food
- Sign with her hands if she's thirsty (it's a grabbing sign)
- Drink out of a cup (while getting it everywhere)
- Stop if we say, "no".
- Play in her crib in the morning without crying... for like an hour
- Stand up and hold onto the couch
- Sing... she never stops talking/singing
- Find things she's lost...

A quick note about the last one. She loves our phones, so one day I threw mine behind the couch, because I was so annoyed with her grabbing it. A few minutes later she gets down from the couch (which she can do), crawls around the couch (which she never does), and grabs my phone. When I look over the edge and say, "Charlotte" in that "I know what you just did" tone, she gives me a charming smile that lets me know she outwitted me. Outwitted by a 9 month old. I'm in trouble.

When there's nothing else you can do...

2009-02-06T19:23:00.002-05:00

If you read my blog back in December, I spoke about my wife's job... I loved the people she worked with and spending the night with them was a lot of fun. There were a couple people I didn't talk with much that night, and one of them happened to be Brianna's direct boss...

Well, that woman ended letting my wife go today due to "personality differences". This is known in the business world as "you're good at what you do, but I just don't like you as a person". It's sad, really. Brianna was great at the job and loved everyone she worked with... except the one person that mattered.

Life is funny like that, isn't it?

She's fine with it, because she did her best and there's nothing else she could have done. It's kind of strange when someone tells you "did a good job, but I just don't think you'd be happy here". Actually, in many companies that would be unethical, and a human resources nightmare.... but my wife is glad to move on.

We'll see what comes next!!!

Things I Don't Tell People

2009-02-04T17:25:00.003-05:00

It's been awhile since I've written on my blog. My wife still doesn't buy in to the world of blogging. It's sad, because she is a great writer and probably the funniest person I know (okay, my lil' sister is actually the funniest person I know...). Anyways...

One of the reasons I don't write a lot or in great length about many things substantial is because I reserve most of the world spinning in my head for my journal. I probably should change some of that, but it's still a strange concept to me to put my world out there on the internet. We New Englanders are usually a private people.

Anyways, here's a quick update on what I'm working on, reading, writing, thinking, and praying about... (Deep breath...)

Youth Ministry: I love my students. They think I'm either joking or strange when I tell them I enjoy hanging out with them more than most adults. They're real, they know how to serve, and they're hilarious. We're going to Student Life Camp this summer at Wake Forest, and I'm convinced this will be one of those "Tipping Point" moments for many of our youth in their walk with Christ. We're also starting a youth-worship band, and I can't express how proud I am of the guys i've been teaching/playing music with.

Worship: What can I say, I love playing music. Recently we've been blessed by the addition of my new friend, Daniel. He has an anointing from God to lead worship, and I'm excited to have him play with us. And things have just been meshing. I get goosebumps sometimes when a song kicks in, and it's the first time that's happened since I've been here. With the new speakers we're getting ready to put in, I literally wake up at night excited about where our church is going with music.

What I'm Reading:
I'm soaking myself in Romans in a way I haven't done since I took a class on it in college. I've honestly spent a good hour reading each day (which is way over my usually amount), and I'm trying to meditate on the concepts of sacrifice and atonement.

I'm also reading Erwin McManus' book "SOUL CRAVINGS". This has been one of those "wow" books for me. He has some one-liners I need to write out and stick on my wall. Seriously, some of the chapters just grip me. A must read, if you ask me. When I'm done I'm going to finish reading "Crazy Love".

What I'm writing:
I wrote a song called "Whisper" the other day. I'm excited to finish it, because it is one of those songs that captures a part of me I haven't been able to put to lyrics before. We'll see where it goes.

What I'm praying for: For the church I'm praying about the great momentum we've been having and that we do everything to continue to develop our volunteers into leaders reproducing leaders. For my family I'm praying for my wife's job, because her "temp" time ends next week, and we're hoping they hire her on (she absolutely loves this job). I'm also praying we actually can get the house we're set-up to buy soon. It would be nice.

That's sort of it. There are a great deal of other things, but we'll leave those for another time.

The Pain, The Pain...

2009-01-03T08:07:00.002-05:00

I actually said on Monday to my wife, "I think the pain is going away," referring to the affliction I have known as trigeminal neuralgia. I was wrong.

Yesterday, while I'm suppose to be relaxing on vacation with my family in Disney World, I had the worst episodes ever. It happened over 30 times throughout the day, where out of nowhere I would feel an electric shock of pain to my face. I took some strong pain medicine, but I only have a little of it left (it is not exactly "over the counter").

I feel much better this morning, having no episodes yet. Still, it is frustrating when there is nothing I can do about it.

I have come across one hopeful solution, and that is the strong possibility that Lyme disease is causing my TN. I have to drive to Columbia for an extensive blood test, but if it shows any small traces of Lyme, then I may have found the cause of all this pain.

Oh well.... like I told my doctor, there are worst things in this world. I have everything else in life one could want, so if this is the big medical thing I have to deal with, it's not so bad. I mean, unless every day was like yesterday. That would suck.

3 years... 9 years in the making

2008-12-28T22:33:00.006-05:00

Tomorrow, December 29, is my 3 year wedding anniversary.

It was August 2, 1999 that I met my wife. We were both 16 and at a camp in New York called Saranac. I had become friends with a girl that was with Brianna's group from Lynchburg, VA, and the second day of camp I asked the girl (Laurel) to introduce me to a couple of her friends... specifically a girl with a blue bandana in her hair.

Over the course of the week I got to know Bri and her friends, and I specifically remember one time actually going off to talk with Bri about whatever teenagers talk about. She was funny... In fact, she was the funniest person I had ever met. We had a good time that week, but the week ended quickly, and I was off on my bus for home before I could even soak in what had happened. It was also the week I took the most important step in my walk with Christ. It was a big week.

Three months later, after keeping in touch with several people I met from Lynchburg, I flew down to visit a few of the people I met. To me, it was the best memory of all of high school. I had no Christian friends, so visiting friends of mine that actually had a faith was awesome. During the weekend I spent a good amount of time with Bri. Enough time, actually, that when I got home I had an email from her about the weekend. She confessed her feelings to me, and I of course responded with the same feelings a 16 year old gets when they "fall in love". Well, I was in Connecticut and Brianna lived in Virginia... so it fell apart over time. I tried to keep in touch, but Brianna's parents were so strict that it just didn't happen.

So life took Brianna and I in different directions. I thought of her time and time again, and I never fell in love the same way after that. I dated a girl my senior year in high school, and in college I took out many girls for coffee or lunch... but nothing ever came of it. At the same time, I had a lot of growing up to do back then... So much so, that Brianna and I know we probably never would have dated in college.

After four years of school, traveling, and memories, something interesting happened. Facebook. That's right... Facebook. When it first came out Facebook was a simple online tool that allowed friends to keep in touch, and also for old friends to reconnect. Well, that's exactly what Brianna and I did. In May of 2005 I sent Brianna a message, just to see how life was going for her. She wrote back the next day, leaving her phone number on the bottom of the message. "I'm not sure why I even did that," she said later.

When she left her phone number a whole world of emotions swept over me. I hadn't spoken to Brianna in person for over 5 years. 5 years!!! I called a friend and went to New York City for the day to think it over. In fact, that same morning I threw a tennis ball against my garage door for an hour... just thinking about what might happen if I set the wheels in motion by talking to Brianna again.

After the whole day of talking to myself about it, I called Bri randomly while driving home. To my surprise, she answered, and thus began an hour long conversation. At the end of the conversation I realized something... I was going to be in Virginia in a few days. I asked Brianna if it would be crazy for me to stop by and see her, but the conversation had gone so well that it didn't seem out of the ordinary. Both of us were at least intrigued enough to see the other person. After all, we were each other's first love.... and we both always wondered what could have been.

Well, I went to the wedding, but I spent more time on the phone talking to Brianna than doing anything else. When I did visit her I was so nervous she said I barely could keep eye contact for the first hour. There were a few awkward moments, and it was difficult feeling so much emotions all tied up together... but by the time I left we decided to take it one day at a time and see what happened. Well, 30 days later Brianna came up to Connecticut to attend my sister's wedding and spend time meeting everyone in my family. The irony was that there were more people in my family from Virginia than anywhere else, so naturally they loved my Virginia girl, Bri.

It was by then we knew we wanted to get married. Quick? Yes. Rash? Absolutely. People thought we were crazy, but we were in love.

Brianna ended up moving to Connecticut only weeks after my sister's wedding, and I proposed on July 28, 2005... Two months after that first phone call. Our engagement was hard, because we were both starting new jobs at different churches, but we got through it all.

Then, on December 29, 2005 we got married in Lynchburg, Virginia.

3 years... that's a long time and a short time. I cannot even remember life before marriage. It is truly the greatest experience in the world. You are a team in everything you do, and you depend on the other one with such an enormous amount of trust. The world we live in allows either one of us to give up, any day we choose... yet there is no option in either one of our worlds that includes an "out" for our marriage. We would fight to the death for the other one, no matter what it took, and we both know it.

God knew what he was doing when he matched us up, and we're both better for it.

UFC

2008-12-23T21:44:00.003-05:00

Okay, the commercials are usually all beer, sex, and stupidity... but I love watching the UFC. It has come a long way since the pirated videos we used to watch in college from the days of Royce Gracie. Now there are rules that actually help protect the fighters, allowing them to recover and return to the octagon sooner.

My favorite fighter? Matt Hughes. Unfortunately, he's retired (or very close to it). Matt was a coach on the Ultimate Fighter and from what some people say, he actually led a Bible study with his guys for whoever wanted to attend. Quite a few of the fighters are strong Christians.

Anyways, it's a fun sport to watch.

A different kind of Christmas Party

2008-12-18T22:14:00.002-05:00

Tonight I got to spend a wonderful evening with Brianna's co-workers and their spouses at their annual Christmas party, held at the house of the owner of their company.

It was about twenty seconds into the prayer before dinner I realized a few things... For one, we were praying. This may seem like a small thing, but to me it was huge! Never, and I mean NEVER, would a small company where I grew up pray before a meal. To me, that was really cool. Into the meal I hear everyone at one point or another mention church or something related to their faith in Christ. It was awesome. It didn't have the vibe that many associate with the south... the "everyone goes to church" lingo. Rather, it was authentic character that kept showing up in the way they spoke, treated their spouses, and treated others. Honestly, I was so proud to have my wife work with such people. It felt like a family, and one I hope we can become close to over time.

One thing is for sure, during this hard time in our country, there was a deep sense of gratitude amongst everyone that their company has enough work to keep on going. Honestly, after seeing the character and integrity of everyone who works their, I can see why people keep choosing them to build houses.

The Groove

2008-12-13T00:38:00.005-05:00

This week has been exhausting, and yet I feel like I haven't accomplished nearly as much as I would like. Sound familiar? I feel like once in awhile we get those weeks. I've had lots of meetings, lunches, and coffees with people... so that's been good. It's just that the way they are spread out sometimes leaves me little time to get into a "work groove".

I live for the work groove! The work groove is when I get inspired to organize thoughts, plan meetings, write music, and get lots of projects done. It is usually a 4-5 hour span (longer, if I have the time) when I can so much done that I can't help but have a sense of accomplishment. The key to this time is NO interruptions.

This week, that just didn't happen. I might get one or two hours, but it is just not enough time to get into the "groove". It's not that I absolutely need the groove, but when I have it I feel much more organized and on top of everything. It takes me more time than people like my wife (who needs about 20 minutes to hit a work groove) to get organized and finish all the projects.

By Friday, after meeting with two people, I found myself with only an hour before I had to get my daughter and meet my wife at home. I found myself exhausted... I mean, oddly tired. Not wired (which, for those who know me, is my normal state)... tired. I thought I was getting sick. Honestly, I think I was so tired because my time was poorly stretched this week. Poor time management burnt me out!

So what am I getting at? I think in my life I need both flexibility and routine. Yes, I love meeting with people, spending time with the youth in my church or with the young adults... but I also need to set times for "the groove". It's easy to compromise this time and to think you can make up for it later, but it's hard to find 4 hours in ministry where people aren't pulling at you for one thing or another. With that said, it's up to me to create this block of time during the beginning of my week and treat it as if sacred. I have become great with keeping my Sabbath sacred, so maybe I need that same "Don't touch this" mindset for "the groove".

So next week when someone calls me on Tuesday I can say, "Sorry, it's Groove time."

I like that!

Buying homes...

2008-12-10T23:08:00.002-05:00

As many people know, Brianna and I are trying to buy a home over on Johns Island (looks like picture above). I emphasize "trying", because it just feels as if it is always slipping away from us. All I can say is I hope we end up in a home sometime in the next 6 months, and I hope we don't have to move for like 10 years. Seriously.... I've added it up, and since I was 18, I have moved over 20 times. That's right, 20 times. I might as well live out of a suitcase. My point is, I've had enough moving.

Frankly, part of me wouldn't mind just staying put in our apartment for a couple years, but the opportunity to get a house with the current markets, interest rates, and security in our two jobs... well... it's too good to pass up.

I only hope that, again, once we're there... we're there.

Welcome to the 90's

2008-12-04T09:29:00.003-05:00

Recently I found a Facebook group near and dear to my heart. I used to think the 90's didn't have anything special about it. Boy was I wrong! So what do I miss the most? Waking up on Saturday mornings to watch Rugrats and Doug. How I miss Doug! They don't make shows like that anymore. The following is from the "You know you grew up in the 90's if..." group...

You're a 90's kid if:

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, Females: had a new motto, Males: got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really really want.)

HELLO....HOT WHEELS!!!!!
http://www.clutterme.com/cars

You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together.

You remember when super nintendos became popular.

You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3........and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

"I've fallen and I can't get up"

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
http://www.clutterme.com/sbtb

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

NANCY DREW AND THE HARDY BOYS WERE THE BEST MYSTERY BOOKS

Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

You made paper scrunchies to see who you'd end up marrying
http://www.facebook.com/add.php?api+key=c7427d30bb17fa5df85a4fc74752d00e

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earrings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said

You thought Brain would finally take over the world

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

You remember when razor scooters were cool.

When we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy...

Before the Internet & text messaging...

Before Sidekicks & iPods...

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX...

...Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

Tag.

Get Over Here!!!! means something to you.

Hide-n-Go Seek at dusk.

Red Light, Green Light.

Heads Up 7 Up.

Playing Kickball & Dodgeball until your porch light came on.

Hopskotch.

Tree Houses.

Hula Hoops.

Captain Planet.

Running through the sprinklers.

That "Little Mermaid"

Crying when Mufasa died in the Lion King.

Happy Meals where you chose a Barbie or a Hot Wheels car.

Getting the privilege to sit in the front seat of the car.

Drinking Sqeeze It "Squeeze The Fun Out Of It"

Or what about:

Hey Arnold.

Rugrats.

The Secret World of Alex Mac.

Rocco's Modern Life.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Doug.

Magic School Bus.

Aladdin.
http://www.clutterme.com/aladdin

Pinky and the Brain

Sailor Moon.

Blossom.

Beavis & Butt-Head

Wishbone.

Bill Nye the Science Guy

MR RODGERS!!!!

Where everyone wanted to be in love after watching The Wonder Years.

Under the Umbrella Tree

PEE-WEE!!!

The Big Comfy Couch

Kool-Aid was the drink of choice.

Class field trips.

When Christmas was the most exciting time of year.

When $5 seemed like a million, & another dollar a miracle.

When you begged to go to McDonalds for dinner everyday.

When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

Go back to the time when:

Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'.

Money issues were handled by whoever was banker in 'Monopoly.'

Being old referred to anyone over 20.

A chance to skate as a couple at the local roller rink was like winning the lottery.

When Ninja Turtles ruled the world.

When Aladdin was new, before the trilogy was complete.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!

Thanksgiving Dinner with Trigeminal Neuralgia

2008-11-24T14:56:00.002-05:00

As posted previously, I have lived the last three months with Trigeminal Neuralgia. I have done some research, and based on everything I've learned, I will explain more of my condition.

There is much I don't know, but what I think I know is the following:

It appears that one of my blood vessels is rubbing against a nerve that connects my brain to the nerves in my face. This abrasive contact triggers excruciating pain, most specifically when I brush my teeth, shave, wash my face, and yes, whenever I eat food. I have somehow found ways to suppress it from the kind of prolonged attacks I had a month ago, but it still has a lightening twitch throughout the day when I aggravate it. I currently am taking 2000mg of B12, folic acid, multivitamin, and nasonex (for allergies that aggravate the pain) every day. The B12, besides giving me lots of energy, seems to protect the walls of my nerves, preventing the kind of searing attacks that I was experiencing before.

However, until these attacks suppress themselves (which means until the next break-out of attacks in the coming months/years), I will probably not be able to eat food that requires chewing. This is kind of depressing (to be honest), but it very well may become part of my life during the times this affliction is in "break-out" mode. As with many afflictions, they come and go throughout your life, and they are unpredictable. It could go away tomorrow and come back in a month, or it could stick around for a year and then go away for 10 years. There's just no way to know. Doctors, as I have read, just aren't informed enough to help the way they wish they could. At least I don't have it as bad as some of the horror stories I've read. People's lives have literally been ruined by this simple affliction (blood vessel rubbing a nerve), because some quite literally cannot talk, for the pain won't allow them to. Imagine that? They lose their jobs, miss out on family events, and can't even laugh for fear of the pain. There's a whole blog about a bunch of people who can't watch SNL for fear of laughing. That's just sad.

So, this Thanksgiving I might not be able to chow down the way I could in the past, but at least I can enjoy my family, laugh, and even talk with my loved ones. I may not enjoy some things like I did before, but with all the blessings in my life, I would happily give up chewable food for all the things God has given me.

2008-11-21T09:44:00.003-05:00

I went digging through an old box the other night and found my old journal, started over five years ago when I studied abroad in Florence, Italy. I bought the leather-bound journal on the streets of Florence for about 10 euros (around $14 at the time). Below is part of my first entry...

Tuesday, July 2, 2003 - I guess it is appropriate to start here and now, in my Florentine bedroom on this blistering hot afternoon... I have decided to get this journal and write now, because last night is when it all came crashing down, so that it may build stronger, higher, and with a better view. My heart, my soul, that which makes me the man God has intended me to be. I have hurt for so long, suffered for so long, been so anxious, and so uneasy... God, my Father, has opened me up to see the heart, that which beats inside of me, his new and good creation, so that I may take steps towards being the man God has designed me to be. Let me start from the beginning..."

Why I started this particular journal was simple. I felt lost, and after someone gave me a book they thought would help, God somehow used it to wake me up. This journal will always remind of the exact emotions of that moment.

It's interesting to read through this book, because no one can value it as much as I do. I always tell people there is an intimate value in writing down one's thoughts. They are yours and yours alone. They allow you to take a microscope to the real thoughts inside your heart, which if not written down, often get pushed aside, buried, or forgotten.

Here is another piece of an entry I found interesting:

November 28, 2005 - "In many ways this journal has been a companion of sorts, being being able to travel through the last few years of my life. I lift prayers, voice frustration, but I also needed something to listen and recollect my life... I felt convicted this morning when reading The Purpose Driven Life, where Rick Warren stated that this is all a test. In many ways I agree. Not that God is seeing how much we can take, but rather observing our heart and our actions. Every moment is an opportunity to enhance ones character. Do I seize enough moments?"

That was the last entry in this journal. I started a new one a month later after I got married, but marriage and life in Connecticut seemed to squeeze out my desire to write the way I used to. I mean, I used to write hours a day. Obviously this was not all journal entries, but it seems somewhere along the way all forms of my writing died down.

I say all of this because I am going to do something I still am unsure if I will regret later in life... I am going to continue writing in this old journal, 3 years after its last entry. To have a three year gap will one day frustrate me, but at the same time I also understand that the 3 years I spent in Connecticut were so fast-paced, stressful, and void of all freedom, that it will be a constant reminder that I will never let that happen again.

Life is too short.

On another note, I wrote down this scripture and thought it was really cool:

"Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all." - 1 Chronicles 29:12

Leverage

2008-11-16T23:30:00.002-05:00

How do we leverage the stuff we have?

That's what I got out of Pastor Chris' sermon today. I absolutely loved it. It is a concept that Brianna and I try to live by, but it's hard. We all have the tendency to think our stuff is... well... OURS. To think of it as "God's stuff" can seem a little out there at first, but it makes a lot of sense after a moment of thought. I mean, I could easily be a poor Ethiopian scraping by for food, but God placed me here. He gave me the opportunity to live in America, have an education, and gave me gifts/abilities enough to get a job. That job produces money. Money is used for "stuff". So, my stuff is really God's.

The challenge is taking each of the things we have (home, cars, money, abilities, time, etc.) and finding the most affective way to use it for the Kingdom of God.

One of my favorite families from Connecticut was couple that had two girls and a boy, all teenagers. The five of them lived in a beautiful home on the water, worth a whole lot of money... but no family leveraged a piece of property more than this family. I stopped over at their house all the time, and almost always ended up eating a meal. They had missionaries, pastors, friends, and open up every holiday to those who don't have family to share with. This was extremely unusual in our part of the country. Why? Because the more people have the more selfish they are. That's a fact. But this family gave and gave and gave. And you what? It was always the best food. You know how some people when guests are over serve the easy food? This family broke out the best food for their guests. I felt like a king when I ate there. I'm talking smoked salmon, lamb, and steak. My point is, they leveraged the gift of their home like no family I have EVER known.

You know the funniest part about it? They were the kids with the most servant-like attitude in my youth group. Does it surprise me? Not at all. They were the only ones who knew life was about other people. When life is about other people, its amazing how different kids approach life.

I only hope Brianna and I can follow the example they showed us in how to leverage our home.

The world is shrinking...

2008-11-08T16:31:00.002-05:00

Anyone who spends enough time around me will hear me speak of my friend, Prashan De Visser. Prashan, who lives in the country of Sri Lanka, was here this week with his family speaking at Cathedral of Praise up in North Charleston.

On Friday night Brianna and I were invited by Prashan's parents to come and eat an authentic Sri Lankan dinner with them and a few families from Cathedral of Praise (the head pastor's family, youth pastor's family, and a few others). It was such a great time of fellowship with these Christian leaders, and we felt so encouraged to know that all of us, while in different churches (and in Prashan's case, countries) could share in our desire to see the Kingdom of God at work in our respective communities.

Prashan made me break out the guitar and play some worship songs, and we were all blessed to be lead in prayer by Prashan's father, Pastor Adrian De Visser. He truly has an anointing, and I can see why he leads the church leaders in his country.

It is so refreshing to get fueled up and inspired by other Christian leaders, because we're not in this alone. It is easy to feel like our church is the only one that matters, but we need to know that we are part of a body so much bigger than ourselves and our own church. It is only through that unity that we will continue to press forward in the world, expanding the Kingdom of God, and letting all know how Jesus Christ can step in and transform lives.

4 years ago...

2008-11-04T22:15:00.002-05:00

I remember 4 years ago like it was yesterday... Seriously. I spent the morning at Starbucks studying and working on my computer. I had submitted an absentee ballot, so I went to work and didn't think about the election until that night. Surprisingly, I was the only one in my dorm watching the TV that night. Everyone else was out, so I watched alone. In many ways it was a lonely time in my life. I had my college friends, but back then I had a strange way of keeping to myself. I had gone through so many different changes in what I believed, what I wanted to do with my life, and how I wanted to live, that in the midst of it all sitting alone watching the TV that night seemed appropriate.

Four years later I have passed through an entire chapter of my life, living and working in Connecticut, and now am fully immersed in a new life down here in Charleston. I don't feel nearly as reserved as I used to be, because I feel like some of the illusions I had about life have been sifted through the wisdom only experience can teach. Now that I'm a husband and a father, it amazes me to see how different I feel about a great deal of things in this world from 4 years ago.

Still, I am constantly engaged by how the world seems to respond to what I believe is the root of all fear... Loneliness.

And so here is the greatest truth I have learned in the last 4 years:

"We either live to be loved or live because we are loved."

Our relationship with God follows this same truth, and it is only the people that recognize there is nothing we need to do to earn God's love that ever seem to be set free in the way that Jesus longed for us to experience. That freedom is everything... everything...

That is the greatest thing I've learned in the last four years. Four years from now, who knows?

Election Time!!!

2008-10-31T19:41:00.002-04:00

Okay, I am ready... for this to be OVER that is.

My goodness, I realize it's important, but what will the world talk about after it's all over? I just don't know.

As for me, my candidate of choice lost back in January... oh well

Here's what I like about each candidate:
McCain - every time he says, "My friends..."
Obama - every time they show him playing basketball
Palin - the "wink"
Biden - when speaks all serious and then when done breaks out into the "grin and point"

Okay, so none of these are important, because I don't see this as a place to put my political opinions. I do wonder what four years into the future will look like. Where will the economy be? Will taxes change? Will there be another terrorist attack? Will we be in Iraq? Will we be at war with Iran? Will gas prices be $6 a gallon? These days anything is possible. At least my mother isn't storing my iodine pills in my freezer like when we lived in the "fallout zone" of New York City.

As for my one political prediction... yes, I am serious about this... Tom Brady will run for office in about twelve years from now. A few years ago, when asked if he'd ever run for office, he said, "So much of my attention now is focused on playing ball, and I like to do that. And if that chance does come up, and I'm still interested in it, I mean it would be something that I think I could do a decent job at. When you think about things you like to do, you think about things that you could be good at, and that's one thing I think I could be good at. Whether I do it or not, I don't know. Who does?"

Brady for President!!!

kind of scary...

2008-10-27T22:37:00.001-04:00

Trigeminal neuralgia (TN) is not fatal, but it is universally considered to be the most painful affliction known to medical practice. By many, it's called the "suicide disease."

Let's hope I actually am one of the few who medicine works on!

2008-10-27T22:15:00.002-04:00

Many know I've been unable to detect what exactly has been the cause of the most excruciating pain in my right cheek, above the roots of my teeth. After seeing the dentist and an ENT doctor, both shrugged it off as a sinus infection. The problem was, as I did research on my pain, I kept running across a strange condition not normal in younger people. However, last night I called my brother-in-law's father, a physician, and he immediately came to the conclusion I found on the internet.

TRIGEMINAL NEURALGIA: described as follows...

Trigeminal neuralgia is a terrible disorder of the trigeminal, or fifth cranial nerve. This is one of the most painful problems that plagues human beings. In fact, its description first appeared in the scientific literature in 1672. Another common name for trigeminal neuralgia is tic douloureux which literally means unbearably painful twitch. Far too often, when a person is suffering with severe facial pain with no apparent cause, the diagnosis given is trigeminal neuralgia. Because of this, the patient may be subjected to medications and even very serious surgical procedures which may not be necessary. The symptoms tic douloureux are very characteristic: sharp electrical pain which lasts for seconds. This pain is triggered by touching a specific area of the skin by washing, shaving, applying makeup, brushing the teeth, kissing, or even cold air. The second division of the trigeminal nerve (the maxillary division), which supplies feeling to the mid-face, upper teeth and palate, seems to involved most. The pain is so severe that the sufferer will do virtually anything to avoid touching the trigger zone, producing the pain.

This pain is so bad that the website in support for people who have it is "www.endthepain.org"

I only hope there is a cure for it.

Noise

2008-10-21T20:33:00.003-04:00

You ever come home tired, but you feel good because you know you accomplished something productive? That's how I felt tonight. I didn't do much out of the ordinary today... Woke up, took Charlotte to daycare, read the book of Hebrews for an hour, had a meeting with Pastor Chris, worked on worship music, failed connecting with a guy on the phone, worked on more music, played some tennis with one of the students, got a call from one of my old youth, and came home for dinner.

It's a fairly normal day for me, but it just felt good. I think I know why.... I started the day RIGHT. By taking time to eliminate the noise and busy world going on around me, I was able to spend time with God in a more productive way than usual. I read the book of Hebrews hanging on to each word this morning, absorbing what God was trying to sink into my heart. I try to read the Bible each day, spending time in prayer, but when I did it today and I purposely gave myself extra time, and I told myself that nothing else in the world mattered as much as that moment.

It worked.

It is amazing how noisy this world is, and when we take time to say, "Be quiet so I can listen", we find that God is usually speaking quite clearly into our lives. It changes the entire day.

I love that.

2008-10-20T21:33:00.002-04:00

Someone sent me the following article about the town I grew up in... only 20,000 people, and as you can read, a place being hit hard by the financial "crisis".

NY TIMES - DARIEN, Conn.

What’s life like these days in the community said to have the nation’s highest percentage of residents working in financial industries?

Probably a lot like it is for the rest of us, only more so. On the one hand there’s an anxious, attenuated version of the old normal. On the other, there’s the nagging fear we’re like Wile E. Coyote having zoomed over the cliff, blithely walking on air as long as he manages not to look down and ponder the void below.

So, on the one hand, it’s hard to imagine anything too catastrophic going on in Darien. It still seems the affluent Fairfield County enclave, with its impossibly thin moms bringing impossibly cute kids to Gofer Ice Cream or the Upper Crust Bagel Company, its fliers from the Canine Health and Fitness Club where they’ll jog with your dog for you, the squadrons of investment whizzes and sundry hotshots packing the 5:04, 5:28, 5:54 and 6:20 from Grand Central.

On the other there are the photocopied pages, spreading around town like lice, of the Business Week story last month that said that 27.2 percent of Darien’s 20,000 or so residents work in finance, real estate, insurance and leasing — the highest percentage in the country. (Westport, up the road, ranked seventh. Greenwich, for technical reasons having to do with census designations, was not rated.) There’s the latest issue of The Darien News, its front page dominated by one of the ubiquitous house-for-sale signs and the headline “Wall Street Crisis: Could Darien Be Hit Hard?”

The first item on the weekly bulletin given to Sunday worshipers at Darien’s stately St. Luke’s Parish begins: “Feeling the Impact of the Financial Crisis? In a Job Transition? We want to help.”

Housing sales are down 40 percent or more from a year ago, and when the Homebuilders Association of Connecticut met here on Wednesday, many on hand were in a panic.

John Doherty, of Doherty and DeLeo Developments, has added geothermal heat and other green technologies to try to sell a 6,500-square-foot house on Buttonwood Lane that he hopes to list for under $4 million. But he’s hustling up as much remodeling work as he can find and holding off on trying to build anything else until the financial weather changes.

“Even people who have money are afraid to spend it,” he said. “Right now everyone is being affected. It’s kind of funny — you play golf with people in construction and all they want to talk about is politics. They never did that before. Now, they’re all looking for a way out of this.”

At Nicholas Roberts Fine Wines, Peter Troilo, the managing director, said that two years ago his wine prices typically ranged from $60 to $100. Now it’s more like $18 to $35, and he has added lots of bottles in the $10 to $15 range. “You have to be responsive to what’s going on out there,” he said. “If the market’s down 700 points, you don’t want to be having a special on an expensive bottle of wine. We have to work a lot harder to make money these days.”

One of his customers, who is in wealth management but declined to give his name, said everyone feels the chill. “Everyone knows someone who lost his job, at Lehman Brothers or Bear Stearns or somewhere else,” he said. “Everyone knows that even the firms that survive are going to be laying off people.”

There are more sympathetic victims than Fairfield County hotshots in multimillion-dollar houses. But depending on how bad things get, hard times in Fairfield County will feel far different from hard times in some mill town — more private pain, less public recognition of it.

“When I first came here, there was more of a sense of community, people were a lot friendlier and relaxed,” said the Rev. Anthony L. Gibson, a vocal social conservative whose Calvary Baptist Church has a more working-class congregation, with many worshipers from outside of town. “Even on my street, they tore down two perfectly good houses to build these immense mansions — one sold for $2 million and one for over $3 million. One has an electric gate in the front so you can’t even go meet your neighbors if you wanted to, because you don’t know the code to get to the door.”

At St. Luke’s, founded in 1855, the rector, David R. Anderson, said, “Everyone’s anxious, everyone’s nervous; we all want security, and we can’t lay our hands on it right now.”

But he said there was not much to be gained from demonizing guys stuck with oversized houses in Darien. He mentioned a visit to someone who worked at Lehman Brothers, who had left his office amid protesters with placards reading: “Greed eats itself.”

Mr. Anderson said there was no doubt there were some Wall Streeters who fit the worst stereotypes of heartless businessmen. But, he added: “Most of these are people just working hard and just trying to do their best. Listen, everyone was greedy. When they were selling all these million-dollar houses, everyone was getting their piece — if you were selling floor tiling or lighting or home theaters. We’re all greedy. If you can acknowledge that in yourself, you can make some progress. If you want to find someone else to blame, you’re probably not going to make much progress yourself.”

Friday, Congress approved the bailout bill in Washington. The market still tanked. There was an autumn chill in the air as the commuters got off the 5:04, 5:28, 5:54 and 6:20. In some of those great big houses, with heating bills bigger than many people’s mortgages, it’s going to be a very long winter in Darien.

over fear and into faith

2008-10-11T09:10:00.002-04:00

In many ways you have to understand New York City to understand the world I grew up in. Life was fast-paced, highly structured, and expectations for the success of every kid was high. We prided ourselves being a step-ahead of everyone else in all areas of life: clothing, music, entertainment, technology, financial understanding, sports, and so much more. After all, why wouldn't we? ESPN, Letterman, Yankess, Ivy League Schools, SNL, Wallstreet, FoxNews, Giants, Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, Movies of all kinds, and 20 million people strong... we had influence and we knew it.

But something happened... at least to me.

Sometime in the last eight years there was a group or faction larger than almost any other in our country that began shaping a movement, uniting in a way that I never saw coming... it was the Evangelical Church.

You have to understand that the Northeastern part of the country has in general saw the church as broken, unwilling to unite together as one. We thought the pastors were egotistical, the people were close-minded, the music was cheesy, and honestly... that they were out of touch.

Well... I have officially been proven wrong.

CATALYST

While At Catalyst, an event put on by Northpoint Church in Atlanta for leaders of the church, I learned a great many lessons about the church. Here are the top 10 things I learned about the evangelical church:

1. The evangelical church runs on Apple. Why? Because of #2.
2. The church is leading the way in marketing, advertising, and entertainment technology.
3. The church is finally grasping the coming generation's desire to repair the world, be a voice to the voiceless, and take on the true ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18-19.
4. The leaders of the church know humility and understand that God deserves the glory, not them. They all come across so ordinary, relatable, and teachable. What a statement.
5. The church is engaging in the wisdom the business world and secular leaders have to offer.
6. Worship is moving past the "Passion" movement and into the next wave of worship music... and it's about time.
7. The church is not afraid of the Gospel. They are also recognizing the Gospel lived out is more important than a Gospel of word alone.
8. While some churches are growing, they are often just "moving sheep". This, however, is changing quickly.
9. People fear what they don't understand or when they are unwilling to change. I speak primarly about myself.
10. Anything is possible for God. Anything. Sometimes we all need to remember that.

Catalyst

2008-10-10T23:38:00.002-04:00

Wow... more to come on this life-changing experience...

The Roberts Family

2008-10-03T08:36:00.003-04:00

It has been a very interesting couple weeks.

It all started with my car breaking down in front of a Starbucks. This little financial annoyance finally gave Brianna and I the final push when it came to deciding about Brianna going back to work. When we moved down here she found a fun job downtown at a little boutique, but the owners only call her in every couple weeks to work. It was nice at first, allowing us to take our time settling in here in Charleston, but when the car broke down, we had to make a decision.

It's funny, really... You never really know how God works in the midst of chaos until you near the end of it.

Brianna started looking for work and ended up finding an amazing job on John's Island, working for what appears to be a great company. We have heard nothing but praising comments about the character of her new boss, and the job itself seems to appeal to many of Brianna's giftings. We continue to hope and pray this will work out for the best. Meanwhile we seemed to have found an excellent daycare at a church near our home, for the days when I can't look after Charlotte.

Again, all this because my car broke down. Life has funny "tipping points".

Georgia... oh Georgia

2008-09-27T22:39:00.002-04:00

Remember last year? Last year Georgia came back against Alabama in a historic game for the Bulldogs, with Matthew Stafford throwing a beautiful game-winning pass in overtime (shown above)... how long ago that now feels.

It's a sad night for my Georgia Bulldog football team.

Alabama took it to Georgia tonight. Their running game, defensive front line, and consistency on the field made it impossible for Georgia to get back into the game. Stafford looked great all things considered. The receivers (including Summerville's own A.J. Green) also performed well. The penalties, however, killed them.

There's still hope for this year... if we run the table and win the SEC championship. That, I believe, will be near impossible. I honestly thought the loss was going to come against Florida (who also looked weak tonight).

Oh well... The life of the SEC.

Halo...

2008-09-15T08:58:00.002-04:00

It's been awhile since I wrote anything... I'm still new to the "blogging" world.

Six years ago I walked into my dorm to hear some friends of mine shouting... wondering what it was I walked in the room to see them playing a video game. I watched, and quickly found it entertaining. It was the original Halo, played on a brand-new video game system called XBOX.

By the next fall there was a group of my friends who drove 30 minutes every thursday night to Brad and Jake's, where we brought two TVs into the living room and linked two XBOX units, creating a 4 vs. 4 game. It was awesome.... though there has always been a controversial moment after one of these games. Apparently I was so upset when I lost one night that I nocked over a giant pot of plants. It is still an argument that ensues whenever I see Brad. He says, "You backed your car up, hit the plant, looked out the window, laughed, and drove off..."

I don't remember any of that :o)

Good times... AND NOW....

Well, I'm excited after all these years that this simple game is still popular amongst the young (or in my case, young at heart). My youth have convinced me to host a massive Halo 3 game at our church this Saturday. I don't know who's more excited, them or me!

It's going to be a fun night...

Beautiful Charleston

2008-08-29T11:37:00.005-04:00

Last night Brianna, Charlotte, and I went for a walk around Battery Park in historical Charleston. We had been looking for a good night to do this for awhile, and finally it arrived. I must say it was the highlight of my last two months being down here with my family. It was so strange feeling like I was on a paradise vacation, yet only 10 minutes from home. I stared at the palm trees for awhile, thinking about my favorite TV show LOST. When the sun started to fade it created a classic Charleston contrast of blue and pink in the sky. Those two colors always seem to permeate the sky at that time of day.

It's in those moments that I know God exists. In fact, I'm always put in awe of who He is when I look out onto the water and watch the colors of the sky change. Only God could do this... only He could think of such beauty.

2008-08-24T23:53:00.003-04:00

It's rained every day since I've moved to Charleston...

No, I'm not exaggerating... EVERY DAY.

It reminds me of Hawaii. Not that I've ever been to Hawaii, but I hear it rains every day there.

Barnes and Noble

2008-08-21T08:38:00.002-04:00

Some people probably don't understand why I love Barnes and Noble, but it is my favorite place to go with my wife (and now family).

Our routine is simple. When we arrive Brianna usually heads to the magazine section with Charlotte, while I explore whatever my heart's desire is for that day. After I grab three books I think look interesting, I meet up with Bri to find a table. I get some coffee and we split a rice kris-pies treat. About 15 minutes into reading I will find something I want to share with Bri, and she always pretends to listen, but in reality she's just humoring me. I get excited when I read things I've never heard of before.

We went the other day and I picked up a book by a guy who has the Guinness world record for the most cars sold by an individual salesman. He's sold like 13,000 cars over 15 years... just him. Wow. That's a lot of cars.

Anyways, I wish I knew which novels I would find interesting. It's impossible to tell, unless you know the author. Even then, it's a gamble. I'll read 50 pages, and if I'm not hooked, I give up. The only exception to this rule was the book KITE RUNNER, where I pushed through half the book before I felt it pull at me.

Best NOVELS I've ever read... in no particular order:

- Kite Runner (I love stories of redemption)
- Emperor: Gates of Rome (the entire series it awesome)
- Harry Potter books
- The Lost World
- The Spartan
- The Agony and the Ecstacy

5:00am in the morning...

2008-08-20T06:54:00.002-04:00

5AM and I'm up!

I wrote a song once about being up at 5 o'clock in the morning. I wrote it after staying up all night to watch a meteor shower with my friends on the beach in Boston... I think the lyrics went like this...

5 am and I have nothing left inside me
I can barely see the light
Driving with my cup of coffee
I make my way to catch the sunrise...

The song goes on to describe a wonderful morning catching a sunrise in Boston in the middle of winter. It was a great memory...

THIS morning, however, is quite different. My baby, who usually sleeps better than I do, woke up screaming bloody murder this morning. She wouldn't stop, even though I knew it was because she was hungry, she didn't seem to remember that the bottle was intended to end that hunger. It was nothing short of a nightmare. So what did I do? After Brianna and I both got frustrated, I started cleaning. Yes... cleaning. I cleaned the kitchen, the dishes, mopped the floor, did the laundry, cleaned up the living room, and got the trash ready to take out. It took an hour...

and now I'm up watching the people on the news talk about "lowering the drinking age to 18". That is the stupidest idea I've ever heard. Believe it or not, the amount of alcoholism in our country doesn't even compare to that of European countries.. and why? Because the drinking age is higher here. Still, there are people out there naive enough to think that 18-year-olds are responsible enough to handle alcohol. Let me just tell you... they can't. I've seen it... and they can't. Sure, maybe half of them can, but if half of them can't... it isn't worth changing the law. I can see it now... "High school seniors buying booze for friends who die in car crash". That line would occur about 10 times more than it already does (and it occurs too much as it is).

Anyways, I'm tired, as you probably can tell. I probably shouldn't have had a diet coke at 6am... but I did... and I loved it.

Surfing at Folly

2008-08-13T23:11:00.002-04:00

The sunset tonight at Folly beach was as gorgeous as this picture... and I had the opportunity to actually surf in this piece of paradise. I received a call from David Schmidt around 7:00PM, telling me the waves were ripe, and I grabbed the board I recently bought off a guy (freshly waxed of course!) and got ready for an amazing 2 hours.

When we first arrived there was a rainbow over the water (how perfect!). I didn't think the waves looked that big, so I went towards the ocean with confidence. It took a few steps in the water before I started to get nervous... But I was determined to catch my first wave. The first 15 minutes I spent trying to figure out what in the world was happening, because it felt like every 5 seconds a wave was breaking, and I could not get through them. At one point I went back to the shallow area to study the water. Eventually the series of waves settled down and I paddled all the way beyond the break point.

It was kind of surreal, because I never go out that far in the water, and I quickly realized I was further out than anyone else. Immediately my trip to the Atlanta aquarium came to mind (which meant I thought about sharks) and I decided to try to go closer to shore where the waves were breaking.

I became frustrated when I could catch anything. They all seemed to be lopsided. Finally I turned around after a miss to find a huge wave crashing, and I had no choice but to let it catch me and ride it into shore like a body boarder. After this I was so tired that I got out of the water to take a break.

After 5 minutes I found a better spot, near my friend David, and I caught two waves... but I fell before standing. I decided to call it a night, place my board in the sand, and enjoy the colors of the clouds.

I started talking with Brandon, a local tattoo artist (and clearly a surfing hippie), and he explained how Folly has changed over the last 15 years since he moved down here. We talked about the surf and we both agreed that no one could see the sunset that night and deny the existence of God. He then proceeded to tell me how he saw a 9-foot tiger shark a couple years ago in the exact spot we were surfing... Freaky.

After a talking for a bit I found David and headed home... and man am I sore!!!!! I can't move my arms!!! Still... Awesome night.

Are YOU the Mafia???

2008-08-11T10:31:00.002-04:00

While on my first youth trip with Coastal Community Church I introduced most of the youth to a game that would set the tone for our time in Atlanta.

Mafia is a fairly easy game to learn, but very difficult to master. It involves deception, alliances, lie-detecting, and tons of logic. The result is yelling, laughing, team-building, arguments, and more post-game conversation than the Super Bowl.

We played the game every night for about 2 hours, and every night the students improved on their ability to play the game.

Here are a few of my awards for the students after 4 nights of playing:

MVP and best "Mafia" - Tristen... If there was a person born to play this game, it was Tristen. Well done...
Best Round - Jake and Taylor... they managed to kill off the cops early and then proceeded to fool everybody
Best "Almost" - Ryan had one round where he single-handedly convinced us all everyone else was the mafia
"Can't Lie" award - Chris and Michael... too much conviction to lie...
Best "Cops" - Sarah and Ashley
Best "Narrator" - Caleb
Best innocent "What, me?" - Lydia
Best "just kill me off then" - Hayden... classic move
Best "I just don't feel well" - Nicole... again, classic move
Best "Defense" - I'm giving that to myself... I almost got Jake to go with me
Best "Medic" - Chris... until he got killed trying to save me (a cop at the time)
Best "Just Kill off Wes" award - Carson
Most surprised to be accused - Trent... every time he made it sound like we were nuts for accusing him

Six Flags, Largest Aquarium in the world, Huge Rock, and this was my favorite thing from the trip...

Fried Food

2008-08-04T17:44:00.002-04:00

This stuff is killing me... here I was thinking I was going to get all healthy, but noooooooo... turns out I'm a sucker for the extreme variety of fast and fried food available here in South Carolina.

Maybe surfing will get me back into shape.

Mighty Ducks

2008-08-02T20:50:00.002-04:00

I came home from work this afternoon to a pleasant surprise... Mighty Ducks 2 was on TV. My wife made fun of me for 2 hours as I watched, laughed, and yelled as I turned the clock back to my childhood with this movie. Something occurred to me in the middle of watching... they don't make movies like this for kids anymore!

Remember these "kid" movies (in no particular order)?

1. Mighty Ducks (1, 2, and 3)
2. Little Rascals
3. Heavyweights (still amazing!!!)
4. Little Giants
5. The Big Green
6. The Sandlot
7. Rookie of the Year
8. Flipper
9. Home Alone
10. Angels in the Outfield
11. Honey I Shrunk the Kids
12. The Karate Kid (1 and 2... NOT the one with the girl)

and...

STAR WARS (yes, the original were VERY kid friendly!!!)

What happened to those days?????

Music UPDATE

2008-07-31T11:03:00.003-04:00

My old band, Evensong Rising, will release it's national debut in September. Here is a sneak-peak at the cover!!!

Morning in Charleston

2008-07-31T09:14:00.006-04:00

I love Charleston... SERIOUSLY!!!

I woke up this morning at 7am to "entertain" Charlotte, make a nice cup of coffee, do a little writing, and watch the morning news. In the midst of all this I realized how little stress I felt on my life. To some people they might think, "so what?" However, if you consider that we've had 3 of the 5 major causes of stress in the last month (new baby, moving, and new jobs), it is quite amazing. God has blessed our life, and we certainly try not to take it for granted.

I am fascinated with the culture here in Charleston. There are some pieces that are exactly the same as suburban New York City, but it seems every day someone says, "You've never been to -----" or "You've never heard of -----"

Here is a list of things in Charleston that I either did not have or have never heard of... making me a true "New Yorker":

1. Most chain restaurants: Sonic, Chic-Filet, Olive Garden, Hardees, Bojangles, Chillis, Outback, Checkers, etc., etc., etc....
I mean, probably over 100 restaurants that people here can't believe I've never seen or been to. We had McD's,
Wendy's, and Taco Bell in our city.

2. Walmart - that's right, NO Walmart in Connecticut.

3. HUGE grocery stores - How much food do people here eat? In a town of 60,000 people we had 4 grocery stores, none
larger than a CVS. The local Harris Teeter I go to could fit all four inside of it. CRAZY!!!

4. Cheap Gas - I had to put this on the list, because I was paying $3.79 for Gas LONG before the "gas crisis"... and yes, I
was paying nearly $5.00 before coming here... so I love these gas prices!!!

5. Humidity and "heat index" - we had neither in Connecticut (only term that we checked was the winter "wind chill")

6. Alcohol - Okay, I have NEVER seen so much booze as in Charleston... my goodness people here must like to drink!
Grocery stores maybe had 3 shelves, going about 10 feet, with beer on it. Here? It's like 5 entire aisles just for
wine! Wine and liquor wasn't even sold in grocery stores in Connecticut.

7. Pickup trucks - Does everyone own one? I knew three people with them in Connecticut... and that's it! All three were
contractors... I love that people have them here.

8. Good Radio Stations - you'd think New York radio would be better... WRONG!!! I can't get over some of the radio
stations here. There's always good music on.

9. Apartment Complexes - We live in one and I love it!

10. Car accidents - people do NOT know how to drive here. People are aggresive drivers in New York, but here they are
CRAZY!!! I don't know how I haven't been hit yet... I pass an accident every day, every time I drive. Wow!

Anyways, I love it here... even if it's hot!

Brianna's New Job

2008-07-24T10:01:00.002-04:00

Brianna is going to be working part time at Wonderland, an upscale baby-boutique on Kings Street downtown. She's really excited about it, and I hope that it turns out to be yet another part of God's plan for us here in Charleston.

Leading Worship

2008-07-20T23:46:00.009-04:00

(Prashan, his family, and author Rick Warren)

I had the pleasure this morning to lead worship at Coastal... and it made me remember a conversation I had six months earlier.

Back in to January I had my dear friend, Prashan DeVissor, visit me in Connecticut. Prashan is from Sri Lanka, and since he had never been to New York City, we got in my car one night and drove to Times Square. We spent hours talking about a great variety of topics, many of which involved Prashan's mission back in his home country to end a 24-year war between two ethnic groups (yeah, he's one of those world-changing types). After awhile he looked at me and asked quite succinctly, "Why aren't you leading worship anymore?" I gave him a variety of excuses, most of which revolved around the fact that everything else in my life was going so well. I had a vibrant youth group, played lead-guitar in a world-class worship band, had an incredible family, and thought that leading worship could simply be put on hold. "It's not my time," I'd say. Still... Prashan hit a nerve.

The next few months went by, and I couldn't stop thinking about the reasoning behind Prashan's question. In the end, this is the question that became the catalyst for our move down to South Carolina.

You see, Prashan and I became friends 5 years ago, living all of 20 feet apart in our college dorm. As we began to talk about our lives it became clear to me that this was a guy worth knowing. A few nights after we met I led worship for our college, and it was after that when Prashan grabbed me and told me I had a unique gift for an American. Only, it wasn't music he was pointing out. The conversation went something like this...

"You see things, don't you?" He asked. Now this got my attention, because I immediately knew what he meant.
"Yes," I said.
"You know most Americans don't have any idea what happens when we worship. Have you always had that kind of discernment?"
"More or less... but most people don't understand, so I rarely speak of it."
"Well, obviously you can play and sing... but to have that kind of spiritual discernment... especially given your background... kind of unexpected."

And honestly? I don't know where it came from. Prashan knew that I was a rich-kid from Connecticut, who should have been on the fast-track for the financial world... someone who had no Christian high-school friends (Connecticut didn't really have Christian youth in the 90's)... someone who heard the words, "You don't want to do that," the first time he mentioned going into ministry to his father... and someone who routinely got frustrated with people "over-spiritualizing" everything that went on in their lives.

But for whatever reason, God gave me a gift of discernment. Frankly, I would prefer a gift of wisdom... or how to be a better husband... but I'll take what I get.

anyways...

I don't know why leading worship is a world I can't explain with words, but it is. It's not about music... music is the tool we use. It's about the POWER of God. That power is unleashed when the heart of united people calls upon the Spirit of God to manifest itself among them. And the result? The result of worship is vulnerability, authenticity, and a noble understanding of the value God has on our lives.

Whatever you want to label it as... I've missed it the last three years... and today, I felt it again.

I'm excited to see what God has in store for the church I have so recently been connected to. I hope this Sunday is the beginning of something great, as I pray God continues to refine me in this new role as both Youth AND Worship Pastor.

P.S. Prashan, my brother, I believe you will be president of your country one day... I believe God will use you to end the war of your country... because of your humility and faith he will do this. Your name will be one millions will remember, but it will be forever linked to your love for Jesus Christ. There is a reason so many great men have gravitated towards you... because you inspire us all to be the Peters and Andrews of the world... "Unschooled, ordinary men"... Just do me a favor and try not to get on the radical, Buddhist hit-list... not yet at least. You are the only man I know who doesn't fear being put on a hit-list. Fierce...

Charlotte Adventures

2008-07-17T09:53:00.004-04:00

I've found myself going to bed earlier and earlier each night... waking up every 3-4 hours to help feed, change, and get baby Charlotte back to sleep. She understands that it's bedtime, but she will only fall asleep on one of our chests. It's cute...

She had her first beach adventure yesterday, walking the Folly Beach peer (by walking I mean me carrying her). We read her a book yesterday as well. She likes the big pictures. Again, too cute. So it was a big day for her!

Having a baby has shifted many of the activities and hobbies I used to have before she was born. She has simplified my life, and I love that. I don't think about late nights every night or eating out too much. I have, dare I say, settled into family life. My late nights will probably be the couple times a week I'm out with the youth at the church and our weekly "date night". Other than that it is cooking dinner at home, having family time, and going to bed by 10:00pm. What a shift!!!

I can't wait until Charlotte is 5-6 months old, can hold her head up, crawl, and starts to understand more of what's going on in the world. She is no doubt an adventurous baby, and I am excited to walk through life with her. My friend once said, "Having a baby girl is like falling in love all over again." I couldn't agree more!!!

Birthday celebration #25

2008-07-07T22:24:00.003-04:00

Wow... Talk about life change.

We moved in to our apartment in Charleston... it's awesome. I am glad to have my family back together under one roof. My baby is sleeping next to me, while Brianna is getting bottles ready for the night.

My random enjoyment lately is coming from "The Daily Audio Bible". This amazing reading of scripture (I do mean amazing) is put on by an incredible producer/musician/artist named Brian Hardin. I had the pleasure of working with Brian, and though it took me two months before I listened to his podcast, now I'm hooked. I listen before I go to bed or first thing in the morning. Please try it for a day and see what you think!

www.dailyaudiobible.com

Wes and Ringo

2008-07-07T22:24:00.000-04:00

New Music from Joshua Sturgeon

2008-07-02T00:12:00.002-04:00

One of my friends from college just came out with a great CD. This gets me excited, because there's nothing like musicians who have true character behind their music. I can't tell you how many musicians and song writers I meet that don't match their music when it comes to love, God, and things that are more sacred in this life. Josh embodies the qualities of a man I would very much encourage other men to look up to. He is the real deal, and I can't say enough about that part of him. Musically, his CD is amazing. I know music enough to know if he was given the amount of money other artists have to make a CD it would be equal to or better than the artists he is compared to... shawn mcdonald, shane and shane, and matt wertz.

www.joshuasturgeon.com

GO AND LISTEN!!!

Prediction complete

2008-06-30T08:10:00.003-04:00

People thought they couldn't pull off big games, but as predicted a few weeks ago, Fernando Torres led Spain to victory yesterday in Euro 2008. Torres didn't have the best tournament, but he scored the only goal of the final match against Germany, and for that he will remain a hero in his country FOREVER.

I enjoyed watching all the teams play, specifically Germany and Spain. I am surprised the Netherlands lost to Russia, because they would have provided a great challenge for tournament champions. It is still sad we did not get to watch England play, but Croatia show everyone why they deserved the bid over the British.

John Adams

2008-06-29T01:04:00.002-04:00

I spent a good part of today watching the HBO mini-series "John Adams". I thoroughly enjoyed the acting, script, and development of some of the most revolutionary men in the history of the world. My favorite scene was when 12 of the 13 colonies (with New York abstaining, essentially giving their vote to the majority) decided that they agreed to a formal Declaration of Independence. I used to imagine this moment being of joy and cheers, but the show did a great job at capturing the utter fear of what this document meant for the future of their people. There was silence, and I thought it so appropriate to the sheer insanity that some of them must have felt to think they could defeat the greatest superpower in the world. Still, they were compelled by their convictions to keep their right to liberty, even at the cost of war.

The show does a great job at showing how even the greatest of men in the grandest of times can feel like complete failures, both politically and with their families. Consequently my favorite heros are the ones that seem the most human. It reminds me of my love for William Wilberforce (Amazing Grace), a man who saw how God properly played a role in politics.

Anyways, people less enthralled by history probably won't like the show... I thought they did a decent job at capturing personalities.

Beach Songs

2008-06-26T10:51:00.002-04:00

Here is a list of songs from my new beach mix... It is the definition of "chill"

No Bob Dylan or Johnny Cash... Respect them... don't make the cut.... Jack Johnson and Brett Dennen are the true Beach music, so they have a couple songs each...

Blessed - Brett Dennen
Was Away (reprise) - Joe Purdy
Breakdown - Jack Johnson
Darlin' Do Not Fear - Brett Dennen
More Than Anyone (acoustic) - Gavin DeGraw
Keep On Grooving - Damian Marley
Better Together - Jack Johnson
No Woman No Cry - Bob Marley
Delicate - Damien Rice
When You Feel It - Brett Dennen
Evening Moon (Acoustic) - Waterhouse
Out Loud - Dispatch
Everyday - Dave Matthews
Following Rita - Train
I Wish I Felt Nothing - The Wallflowers

Top 5 Everything Guitar and Music

2008-06-24T12:42:00.003-04:00

Above: Jason Morant

Before I give this list I would like to point something out. As a NYC musician I have seen music beyond the imagination of most commercial bands... so this is a list of bands or artists that "made it" in music. I would also like to state that it is a fact that secular music has the best musicians, and while I like many Christian bands for their lyrics and character, they are far behind the talent or chemistry of the bands in this list... with exception to one brilliant artist... Jason Morant. As a Christian artist he stands alone. The one band with good chemistry is Mute Math, but even they have broken away from the Christian scene, as most good Christian bands do (Switchfoot, POD, Dashboard Confessional, etc.).

Top 5 Bands to see live:
1. Coldplay
2. Dave Matthews Band
3. U2
4. Dispatch
5. Guster

Top 5 Christian Bands:
1. Delirious?
2. Tree63
3. Mute Math
4. Switchfoot
5. Bethany Dillon

Top 5 Worship Leaders:
1. Jason Morant
2. MercyMe
3. David Crowder
4. Hillsong
5. Chris Tomlin

Top 5 Commercial Guitar Players: These boys can rock...
1. Jimmy Page (Zepplin)
2. Stevie Ray Vaughn
3. Marc Ford (Black Crowes)
4. Jimi Hendrix
5. Mike McCready (Pearl Jam)

Best Guitar Songs of all time:
1. Sting Me - Black Crowes (of my goodness!!!)
2. Whole lotta Love (Zepplin)
3. Yellow Ledbetter (Pearl Jam)
4. Trilogy (Allgood) - Oldschool Jam Band
5. Sample in a Jar - Phish

Best Worship Album
1. Sonicflood Pink Album... there's nothing even a close 2nd....

British Bands

2008-06-19T11:21:00.003-04:00

Top British Bands/Artists

I understand the Beatles are the greatest band of all time, but this is a list of my favorite bands to listen to...

1. Coldplay - best studio
2. U2 - best live band
3. Beatles - most influencial
4. Led Zeppelin - best lead guitar player
5. Delirious? - best Christian band
6. Radiohead - most original
7. Rolling Stones - Longevity
8. Queen - most singable
9. The Who - most unpredictable
10. Damien Rice - most chill
11. Oasis - wannabe Beatles

My most relaxing moments of all time include listening to Coldplay while walking on the beach... There is something about their ambient melodies, soft love lyrics, and unique chords that makes me smile. I could listen them and walk/run on the beach for hours upon hours. It's beautiful.

The sad part? I had a chance to see them in ROME, ITALY when I was 20 and missed out... what is the value of that ticket? probably over $1000 today. People are paying $500 for nosebleed seats for Monday's concert in New York City. I don't like them that much.

Backseat Drivers

2008-06-16T12:33:00.004-04:00

After watching an amazing weekend of sports (golf, soccer, and basketball), I find myself annoyed by the analysts. The golf analysts in particular drive me crazy. They criticize the play of TIGER WOODS!!! I understand they are only explaining what he's doing wrong, but NONE of these guys EVER were CLOSE to as good as he is at golf. It reminds me of backseat drivers who have never sat behind the wheel of a car. At least some of the basketball analysts can say "I've been there", but the golf guys really are ridiculous. "I don't know what he's thinking, Tom. It's the wrong club for that kind of shot." Really? If Tiger Woods wants to use a PUTTER off the tee, it's the right club to use... every time.

My mother says (and I quote), "He has a guardian angel helping him. How else would those putts go in?"

I scoffed... but now that I think about it... hmmm...

I'm watching the playoff between him and Rocco... I like them both.

Spain to win Euro 2008

2008-06-07T22:14:00.005-04:00

For most Americans, you might be wondering what the extra soccer games are doing on ESPN, ESPN2, and ABC over the next few weeks. Welcome to Euro 2008!!!

Here are my picks:

Winner: Spain Their speed, solid defense (Puyol, Sergi-Ramos, and Casillas), innovative mid-field (Xavi, Fabregas, Iniesta), and world-class striker (Torres) will prove to finally give Spain the glory they deserve.

Runner-up: Portugal The best player in the world, Christiano Ronaldo, will prove to have an affective supporting cast... but not enough to overtake the speed and determination of their neighboring country.

Most Goals: Fernando Torres (pictured above) "El Nino" will finally shine, coming off a phenomenal season at Liverpool

Breakdown
Group A: Portugal and Cech Republic
Group B: Germany and Croatia
Group C (group of death): Italy and Netherlands
Group D: Spain and Sweden

Quarters:
Portugal over Croatia
Germany over Cech
Italy over Sweden
Spain over Netherlands

Semis:
Portugal over Germany
Spain over Italy

2008-06-04T23:26:00.002-04:00

There was a time I cringed at the gas prices reaching $2.00 a gallon... $3.00 a gallon was tough, but $4.00 a gallon got me angry. "This is ridiculous," I thought... but I still bought gas.

Recently I read a book about the necessity of competition within an economy. There is no such thing as "unfair" prices, as the book as taught me. After all, if they were unfair, people wouldn't pay them, finding alternatives to spending or spending too much. It's sad, but the overall success of a healthy economy makes the gas price jumping inevitable, especially when we compare its luxury verses all our other luxuries. The sad part, and this was me up until I read this book, is that most of us assume something is priced too high if we don't want to pay it. In reality, it doesn't matter whether we like the prices or not, it only matters if we are willing to pay for it. Besides, history has shown us that when prices for one resource get high enough, it allows other resources to become available (i.e. engines running on alternative fuels).

In the end, I need to drive for many things, but not all things... and I could drive a lot less. Sometimes life calls us to shift financial priorities, making sacrifices in some areas to enjoy other areas of life. We are blessed to live in a country that allows economic competition, even if we don't like the prices. After all, in 20 years we'll all laugh at the days we drove around with gasoline.

Grilling

2008-06-01T15:43:00.004-04:00

Nothing says "come join us for dinner" like grilling. There's something about hot charcoal, red meat, and guys manning the grill. It is the tipping point for any event invotation. I could have the most enticing event planned possible, but the words "grill" or "barbaque" lift up the quality and appeal of the occasion as if a famous celebrity was joining the party.

Personally, I'd grill every night if I could (and will when I move to South Carolina), always making a little more than needed to "give away" to the stranger that wanders conveniently within feet of our gathering.

So here's my ultimate (and I mean ULTIMATE) cookout situation:

Location - Grass, just thick enough to play some soccer, football, or frisbee... the soft kind (2 inches tall)
Supplies - Charcoal grill, a small tent to protect us from the sun, coolers for drinks, table and chairs for 5, blankets for the rest, and a portable sterio with country music playing
Food - Hamburgers and hotdogs (to give away to whoever wants them), t-bone steak (for me), italian sausage, grilled onions, toasted buns, hot sauces of all kinds, and cold drinks of whatever people like.
People - I like a group of 7 guys... it's a magical number... but more is nice
Entertainment - Georgia Bulldog football game on my flatscreen TV (which is run into the house by an extension chord), frisbee, football, and soccer...

Ahhhh... how sweet it is...

Tempature 76 degrees...

Harry Potter

2008-05-28T18:43:00.004-04:00

I've noticed that many Christians have failed to give the Harry Potter book series anything but condemnation, while lifting the Lord of the Rings books above all other fiction. I have always found this confusing. I can understand the direct metaphors represented in Lewis' the Cronicles of Narnia as Biblical, but Tolkien's the Lord of the Rings? It's a stretch.

So why do I love Harry Potter?

The negatives many Christians point to are obvious... the witchcraft, sorcery, presence of "evil", and the like. But that's it. Everything else is about the trials of adolescence, friendship, courage, destiny, family, learning from mentors, temptation of evil, and the power that defeats all powers in the book... LOVE. In fact, the ultimate form of love in the book is sacrificial love... giving up his life to save the lives of everyone he loves... sound familiar?

What's ruined the books?

The movies, for one. Most people think the movies are like the books... they're not. They lack the deep emotions of the plot the books contain. Then the movies started the marketing for costumes, wands, and what seems to be a deeper appreciation for Halloween. This is all very annoying, and I feel it gives the books a bad name. After all, I wouldn't want my daughter dressing up as a witch for Halloween.

So What Should Christians think of Harry Potter?

This opinion varies. They are a phenomenal read... no question about it. As long as Christians can realize that it is a fictional world (similar to Lord of the Rings, Cronicles of Narnia, Eragon, etc.), than I say enjoy them. They carry such valuable life lessons, and I believe J.K. Rowling has captured the heart of youth in amazing ways. The only caution I would provide is that each book seems to get "darker", but the end of the final book contains the greatest build-up and finale of any fictional story I've heard.

Then again... you decide... just not on the movies.

2008-05-27T22:57:00.002-04:00

The city of Florence is where I dream of living someday when I'm old, the kids are out of the house, and Brianna and I are at a point to take on a new adventure.

My love for the city started at a young age, always asking my parents if one day I could travel to Italy. When I was 19 I was given the opportunity to study abroad for an entire summer, living only blocks from the Duomo (the big cathedral on the right).

It was during my studying that I realized that there were thousands upon thousands of American students studying in the city... and how many churches that spoke English? ONE!!! It was the most boring service, so I only ended up going a few times. A few of us who were Christians began to ask, "Wouldn't it be great if someone were to run bible studies for all these students?" It created an idea in my head... why doesn't someone create an organization for these "study abroad" hotspots? Places like London, Sevilla, Florence, Sydney, Paris, Barcelona, Prague, and all the other places tens of thousands of students go abroad to live, study, and ask the deep questions about what they are going to do with their life. What a cool idea!!! Someone needs to take this on... it's a fun idea I think about.

Anyways, I do hope sometime soon I can visit the most beautiful city in the world...

Venice, on the other hand... SMELLS AWFUL, too many tourists, and there's really nothing to do but waste money on colored glass. Oh, and the scene from the Italian Job with the boats could never happen...

Romanticism, Heaven, and Victory

2008-05-25T19:05:00.010-04:00

I've always been a romantic...

Love songs, long walks on the beach, the movie Titanic, walking through art galleries, swing dancing, laying on a hammock with my wife, etc. I crave the thrill of love.

So naturally, the romantic in me lives for adventure. I like traveling into the unknown, facing challenges others are afraid to take on, and competition of all kinds. There's nothing more appealing to me than the passion of victory. The shouts of victory, like war cries in the movie Braveheart, release overwhelming joy inside of me.

And that's where heaven comes in...

I day-dreamed once I died and went to heaven. I opened a door and walked into the middle of a giant stadium, enough to hold millions of people. I looked up in awe, gasping at the sight of the people and deafened by the sound of music and their cheers. In that moment I felt something flow through my veins, and force me to smile. I started laughing. After a second I looked in front of me, stopped laughing, and started to run... I mean sprint, faster than lightening... I jumped into the arms of my Heavenly Father, pulled back and heard him say "Welcome home."

Now that's victory...

In 2 Timothy 4:6-8 the Apostle Paul, a man who lived to let people know about his love for Jesus Christ, says the following in a letter to his friend...

"For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing."

In other words, we have passion for a reason. We love for a reason. We were designed to fight for a reason... that reason is for humanity, showing others the purpose for which we were created... the life Jesus Christ died for that we might be able to live, now and forever. The war is not against each other, but rather forces which we can't see... the whispers in our ears, as I like to call them. We fight against the voice that says, "you don't matter", "you aren't good enough", "don't waste your time", "you have no value", "no one's proud of you", "no one cares". Those voices come from the Evil that has laced itself into our world, quietly manipulating the understanding we have for why we are here.

Yet there is a power of the utmost nobility, thundering into the depths of the hardest of hearts. That power, while fierce, softly whispers the words similar to the words I dream of when I think of heaven...

"Come home..."

Those words... are the only ones that matter.

Threshold

2008-05-23T22:12:00.003-04:00

I had a doctor tell me today my wife has the highest threshold for pain he's ever seen.

Brianna had a gall stone the size of a finger... a finger! She also had ten more the size of chocolate chips! What does this mean? It means the doctor was baffled as to how she has even been able to walk the last two years, let alone give birth!

I'm extremely excited for her after finding out that her gall stones are what caused a number of mysterious medical problems she's faced for the last 4-5 years. Things like sleep, constant back pain, daily indigestion, and so much more... she woke up and said it was the first time in years her back didn't hurt. The best part? The doctor claims her energy level will jump, which I believe she deserves after all she's gone through.

"I need a reward," she just said in a half-conscious state.

Yes, my dear wife, you do... and that reward is sleeping at your feet... little Charlotte.

Midnight Food

2008-05-21T22:45:00.006-04:00

Okay, let's get this going for real...

This whole thing started months ago... well, years ago actually. You see, I grew up in Connecticut. My parents were living in Dallas before I was born, where they met in school. After my older sister was born they decided to move to New York City for better jobs. My mom was in fashion at the time, and my father in advertising. New York was a culture shock, but they survived and eventually moved 20 miles outside New York City to Connecticut. That's when I was born. Two years later my younger sister was born.

Growing up in Connecticut was... well... interesting. There's actually a movie written about my town called "The Stepford Wives". Seriously...

I grew up playing sports, going to school, and going to church. At age 12 I began playing the guitar, thanks to my father. The more I played guitar, the less I played competitive sports. I stuck with tennis and lacrosse, but my sport of passion was always soccer. Eventually I would work teaching tennis lessons, but every night after work I would drive my car to the beach and play my guitar. At 16 I started writing music, playing out every once in awhile.

(interesting fact... I grew up with the actress Kate Bosworth. I actually got into a heated argument about abortion with her in 8th grade... I apologized later in English class, where I think she borrowed my pencil. My wife HATES any movies with her... but my wife's much hotter anyways, so it's all good.)

16 was the year everything changed for me. I met Brianna that year, and more importantly, it was the time in my life I began a real relationship with Jesus Christ. I started going to Young Life, which was where I learned about the life God intended for me to live.

After two years in high school of walking strong with Christ, I decided to go to Gordon College, a liberal arts school north of Boston where I studied Biblical Studies. Boring, right? I loved it. During college I made some amazing friends, traveled around the world (Italy, Wales, England, etc.), and made memories to last a lifetime. I had amazing professors, and for that I'm thankful.

During college I continued to play music, leading worship and playing original music in outside venues. I had such freedom back then, and I relished it... taking road trips, spending late nights in Boston, and playing my guitar on the beach.

By the end of college it had been 5 years since I had spoken to Brianna, who lived in Virginia. We originally met at a Young Life camp in 1999. I wrote her an email in April of 2005, just to say hi, and a few days later we were talking on the phone. I went to a wedding in Virginia weeks later, stopped by to see her in person, and only two months later we were engaged. Most people thought we were crazy... and believe me, we were. That was in June 2005. We've been married now for two and a half years.

Brianna moved up to Connecticut where I had taken a job at a church in Greenwich. My best friend, Chris Sorensen, was leading worship and pastoring the evening congregation... so when they needed a youth director, I agreed to take it on. I absolutely loved it. I always knew God had called me into ministry, but it was nice to have confirmation.

Jump ahead 3 years...

Brianna and I loved the church we worked at, but I kept waking up in the middle of the night... pacing. I couldn't figure out what it was, and when I prayed, I didn't find much clarity. Finally I asked Brianna if I was crazy. She said no, because she felt it too (though at the time she was probably feeling baby Charlotte kicking her as well). I prayed some more, and knew God was calling us to something... but it was hard to admit, because we loved our "setup". Great church, great apartment, great friends, and great students to work with... but still we knew God was calling us out. Not to mention the band I was playing with was about to have a nationally released album!

So what happened? Well, I asked Brianna if I could inquire about this church we saw needed a youth and worship pastor in Charleston, South Carolina. Brianna had been to Charleston, but I had only heard stories from my parents about how beautiful it was. I ended up sending a resume and talking for hours with Pastor Chris Rollins, who clearly had a vision for a church he and his wife started out of their house years ago. Brianna and I flew down for a few days, and we instantly knew that this was where God was calling us to. There are tons of more details, but it was crystal clear that God had a plan for us. We are so excited for this new adventure!

Meanwhile, a new passion has arisen... baby Charlotte. Our little girl is a ball of joy. She is sleeping next to me as I write, while mommy gets some needed rest. I wrote about fatherhood earlier today... and I'll say it again... it's weird feeling being in charge of a human life. Talk about responsibility! I'm excited though, and hope beyond all prayers that she know the love of Jesus Christ.

So that's a piece of my story... it is designed for the members of Coastal Community Church (or any interested soul) to get to know a little bit more about me. It certainly isn't the whole story... but it's enough for now. God bless...

"Seek first the Kingdom of God... and the rest will fall into place..." - Jesus

2008-05-21T19:43:00.000-04:00

Charlotte Jane Roberts

Test Run

2008-05-21T13:54:00.000-04:00

This is the beginning of what I've been told is the best way for people to know what's going on in my world. My wife says it's a public diary. I'm not sure what I think yet, but I'll be sure to let whoever reads this know.

It's 1:51pm on Wednesday... just over 100 hours since I've entered "fatherhood". It's amazing we have licensing for driving, jobs, and even marriage... yet anyone can be in charge of the life of a human being. Scary. Extremely scary.

I'm going to stop writing in a minute, because I have to get ready for the super bowl of soccer, the Champions League Final. Unfortunely my team, Liverpool, lost in the semi-finals. Chelsea and Manchester United will kick-off in an hour, and I honestly don't care who wins... It is simply a pleasure to watch the most beautiful game in the world be played by these two English clubs. For those who don't follow English football, allow me to explain. It is soccer... but with class and beauty. It pains me to watch the US league, MLS, after these games.

That's all for now!